Author’s Note: After two major surgeries and recoveries in two years (one expected, one a surprise) I thought I’d share some of the random things I’ve learned through these experiences.
In early 2024, I had major abdominal surgery, a full hysterectomy to be exact. Due to large fibroids, an ovarian cyst, and a uterus that measured close to an almost full-term fetus (2900 grams! 😮), they took all my inner “girl parts” save one ovary.
We were fortunate in that I had been aware of the problem for several years and knew surgery was likely coming. Also, almost from the beginning, all the doctors were quite confident there was no cancer so that made the whole experience less terrifying.
Then, in early 2025, while out walking Puppers one day, a two-second slip on the ice ended up altering my life greatly for months to come! As a result of that inadvertent misstep, I ended up with an ankle that was BOTH dislocated AND broken in multiple places. It took an ORIF surgery, and months of hobbling around on crutches and a knee scooter, along with physical therapy, to recover from that one! (I’m still INCREDIBLY thankful for some helpful neighbors–who were complete strangers–who helped the dog and I get safely back to the house that day! 😊)
So read on for some tips on how I learned to use mindfulness when life is chaotic…
Being humbled by your body’s limitations
One thing that was hard to get used to while I was recovering from both surgeries was that my body didn’t work right. You literally, CAN’T do things. The doctor (and your physical reality) puts you on limitations such as:
–No lifting over 10 pounds for weeks on end
–No stretching/reaching/bending over to grab things
–No walking the dog, picking up your kid, etc.
–It hurts to do even the most mundane of daily activities such as: walking; sleeping on your side; getting in or out of bed or a chair; sitting up straight at a table; getting off the toilet, etc.
–depending on the surgery you may literally not be able to walk without aids for months on end!
Until you experience it, you have no idea how frustrating and humbling it is when your body literally doesn’t work right and you’re dependent on the help and generosity of others.
The best thing you can do in these situations is be kind to yourself and accepting of your limitations. You will only cause problems if you push yourself too much. See this as a doctor’s prescription to take a break!
Uncertainty and lack of control
One surprising thing I learned through my experiences is that having control over one’s own body is largely a privilege of good health and elective procedures. The minute something serious occurs, most of your ability to control your own body pretty much goes out the window:
–I didn’t CHOOSE to have problems with my reproductive system–while it “may” have been related to decades of choosing to take hormonal birth control, they honestly don’t know what causes these issues. So this isn’t a “you smoked and got lung cancer” type of situation.
–While there are numerous options for hysterectomy surgery these days ranging from minimally invasive, robotic procedures to incredibly invasive, full-cut methods, I really had no choice in the matter. Due to some logistical issues, I ended up working with two specialty surgeons at two different health systems. Both told me in no uncertain terms, “You WILL have a long, vertical cut, period.”–I ended up with a 9-inch+, vertical incision down the midline of my belly, starting above my belly button! That was fun! 🤕
These surgeons were both the best of the best mind you, with access to the most advanced robotic equipment available. I actually worked with oncologists (cancer surgeons)–even though they were very confident I didn’t have cancer–because my surgery was going to be more complicated/risky due to the size of my uterus. These types of surgeons are the absolute, most skilled in their field. Literally all these doctors do is surgery, often on complex, potentially life-threatening situations. They aren’t trying to fit you in between delivering babies and doing emergency C-sections!
My uterus was so large there wasn’t much room for the surgeon in my abdominal cavity. This increases the risk that other organs can be nicked/damaged during the procedure with obvious negative, potentially long-term consequences. Fortunately, I suffered no long-term side effects–thank the Good Lord Above and my incredibly skilled surgeon! I feel very blessed that I had access to these medical professionals!
–I also didn’t CHOOSE to fall on the ice. I took one step in a bad spot (on ice I couldn’t see because it was covered by snow) and I barely had time to think, “I’m falling” before hearing a “CRACK!” and feeling my entire foot go numb! Then I looked down and saw my foot twisted at an unnatural angle with “bulges” on one side (where there should never be “bulges”! 😝)
Then, when I met with the orthopedic surgeon a few days later, she took one look at my x-rays and says, “surgery…MOST DEFINITELY!”
—They aren’t kidding about recoveries that can take weeks or even months! For people who are lucky enough to be able to have the less-invasive options, your recovery time may vary. But, when your belly is held together by 40+ staples (or your ankle held together by multiple pins, screws and plates) you WILL have LENGTHY recoveries. I did and I had pretty easy recoveries, all things considered.
I’m very fortunate that I can do A LOT of my job from home, from the couch, while wearing pjs and when I feel like it–read: I can take naps just about whenever I want. 😂 Due to this, I was actually able to slowly start returning to work after only about 10 days for both surgeries. HOWEVER, if you’ve got a physical job, or one with lengthy hours/lots of lifting, you will likely need to be off work for at LEAST 6 weeks after these types of surgeries!
—EXHAUSTION! They aren’t kidding when they say you’ll be tired after major surgery either. I am a high-energy person who doesn’t usually sleep much. I average about six hours/night of sleep and my body LIKES it that way! When I occasionally take naps they are rarely over 30 minutes and even then I have to be careful they aren’t too late in the day or too long or I may not sleep that night.
After my surgeries though, I’d be fine for a while, and then I’d get hit with such strong fatigue it was all I could do to keep my eyes open! You literally feel like it’s almost impossible to even raise your arms you’re so exhausted. I took two-hour naps! That is UNHEARD of for me! I was so out of it I didn’t leave the house for weeks–normally that would feel unbearable due to getting stir-crazy, I almost didn’t even notice it after my surgeries.
—I felt like I lost time. I had both surgeries in winter. From then until early spring, I almost felt like time didn’t pass right. I was pretty out of it the first few weeks or so due to sleeping a lot and being on the “heavy” meds. But even after I was more awake and aware, it would feel like time was passing and I almost didn’t even notice. I truly don’t know where those winters went!
It didn’t help that both were fairly mild winters (as is increasingly becoming the case in the Black Hills). Coincidentally, both times I was in the hospital, having surgery and on HEAVY pain meds for our short, below-zero cold snaps. For my first surgery poor, Mr. Trekker got to trek back and forth from the hospital in -20 temps!–this didn’t affect me so much though the bathroom in my hospital room was on an outside wall and was FREEZING! (I had a nice, window view though!)
—Once you’ve had one surgery, the rest get a little easier. I was TERRIFIED for my first surgery:
—-What will the anesthesia be like? Will I get sick after (I didn’t. Another tip, request ALL the anti-nausea meds–and sometimes patches–they can give you!)
—-How much pain will I be in?
—-How difficult will recovery be?
By my second surgery (and helping Mama Trekker through multiple surgeries of her own the past couple of years) I felt much more comfortable with MANY of these processes/procedures.
**And in case anyone was wondering, if you ever have the choice between a total open, vertical hysterectomy (that requires a three-day stay in the hospital) or a broken ankle and outpatient surgery…choose the hysterectomy! 😝 (Not very helpful for my male Readers, I know, sorry! 😇)
Sometimes an overnight (or several night) hospital stay is actually preferable. There is a big push these days for Outpatient surgeries/procedures. Many times you don’t have much of a choice on this, you’re kind of at the mercy of what your doctor thinks is best (and/or what your insurance company will pay for–unfortunately.) But if you are given the option, it may surprise you to hear that my advice would be to consider at least one night in the hospital.
Hear me out…if any problems/complications arise they are most likely to happen within the first few hours/days after surgery (negative reactions to meds; signs of infection/fever; heavy bleeding, severe nausea/pain, etc.) If you’re home, you may have to wait for a caregiver to arrive…then you have to determine if the situation is severe enough for an ER trip or just to gut it out till you hear back from the nurse-on-call. Then, even if you go to the ER you may be stuck waiting hours for relief depending on how busy they are/how many more severe cases are in line in front of you. And this may all be just for a simple med change or IV fluids…
…whereas if you’re already in the hospital you’re already with the experts who can help you straight-away!
When we’re in these situations there isn’t much we can do but accept our circumstances and hang on for the ride. We don’t have to like it, but so much of life is just dealing with things that happen to us that are out of our control.
Weird stuff happens to you in the hospital!
This whole process was a weird, learning experience!
–It still kinda freaks me out that these doctors I only met for about 45 minutes, a day or two before surgery, literally had their hands deep inside my body…they both did a great job but that is WEIRD to think about! 😯
—I have never had so many random people ask about my pooping schedule. 😝 Apparently, when you are put under anesthesia, it tends to “paralyze” your bowels, temporarily. Due to this, it isn’t unusual to become quite constipated for a few days after surgery. They give you meds for this, but they also watch you carefully to see if you “are gassy” and “have good bowel sounds”. These are good signs that your bowels are waking up on their own, and no further medical action is needed. So for three days after surgery, every time a medical person walked into my hospital room, one of the first things they asked me was, “Did you poop today?” 🙄 *sigh*
—A creepy lady watched me on the TV in the hospital! (No, really, this was not a hallucination brought on by the meds! 😯) The hospital I was in was starting to implement these “virtual supports”. Basically, after getting into my room after surgery, and then after a round of meds from my real nurse, I’d be happily sitting in the room relaxing…all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the TV would freak out and this headless voice would start emanating from the ceiling–this is especially weird when your senses are already dulled by some pretty strong pain meds. 🤯
Basically, another nurse, in some other part of the hospital, would just pop up on the tv to talk to me and check to make sure my meds were working, see if I needed anything else, etc. It was never clear to me if she could see me or just hear me (I could see her on the TV screen.) But there was never any warning this was coming and I really didn’t have any way to refuse her. I’m not sure what would have happened if I had been changing clothes or using the bathroom when she called. 😊
Frustration with medical staff/billing:
Author’s note: I should note that I’m coming from the perspective of the American health system and as someone who is blessed to have good health insurance.
I was fortunate in many ways but I got an up-close view of the racket that is the American medical system!
—Bills start coming, and then keep coming, for random things…for the next several months! First, you get a bill for the doctor at the hospital, then you get a separate bill from the anesthesiologist’s organization. Then you get bills for things like “professional services” that total thousands of dollars! (I don’t even know what that means, “professional service” is literally all they told me!) I even got a bill for some random person doing something office-related. It literally said something like, “John, office misc.”–note, John was not the real name. 😉 But what did “John” do, make a copy of something?! 😝 (Insurance covered their portion so I’m assuming everything was legit, but it would be nice if they were more transparent.)
—I was a little frustrated by the lack of info from the medical staff. They answered all the questions I had–the trouble was I didn’t really know what questions to ask! They also told me everything I “needed” to know regarding the procedures, recovery, how many days in the hospital, etc. But they weren’t super helpful in giving info such as “things you may want to have at home for recovery”.
Note, you WILL want:
–a reacher–seriously, one of the BEST inventions!
–a high toilet–if you don’t have a high toilet you can get a special toilet seat that has handles and raises the toilet seat up by several inches. This can be INCREDIBLY helpful after any major surgery!
–a shower chair and a removable shower head–these are a MUST if your mobility is impaired!
—Mobility aids–if you need mobility aids I HIGHLY recommend a knee scooter over crutches–this is both an easier and much more stable/safer option. It will also save you a ton of pain on your hands, underarms and back from the crutches!
**Note: You can get any/all of these devices at Walmart, Target, your local pharmacy or hardware store and/or Amazon!**
—I also learned it can be helpful to have a fairly serious condition. One of the doctors said she’s had experience with my insurance company where they denied one of my procedures until further, more detailed info can be provided. They approved mine quite easily! 😂 (She said I had a VERY GOOD reason for a hysterectomy though. 😝)
I know many other people that had more “elective” surgeries who had to wait MONTHS in TERRIBLE pain to finally get their procedures. (Note: “Elective” doesn’t mean the surgery isn’t medically necessary, it just means it isn’t urgent/an emergency that needs to be handled VERY quickly. Procedures such as back and hip surgery are technically “elective”.)
That all being said, despite my minimal frustrations, I feel the need to put a shout-out to the US healthcare system. It is in no way perfect, but if you have decent insurance, I truly believe it’s one of the best available overall.
I heard absolute HORROR stories from people in other countries (England, Australia, Canada, etc.) who had to wait months if not YEARS for surgery, oftentimes suffering from severe pain and bleeding the entire time–and then they may only get a week or two notice to prepare! (Also, in many of those cases, second opinions are almost unheard of and you’re stuck with whatever doctor you get, whether you are comfortable with them or not. 😪)
With my first surgery, I went from my initial appointment to Surgery Day (while navigating multiple health systems and doctors) in less than two-and-a-half MONTHS! If I hadn’t had logistical issues with the first doctor/health systems (and some personal preference regarding scheduling surgery) that time frame could have been even shorter! With my second surgery I went from injury, to having a consultation two days later, to having surgery the very next day!
—Scars can be cool! I thought I would be HORRIFIED by my scars. It turns out, I’m rather proud of those battle wounds! I survived one of the worst, hysterectomy procedures they do (not to mention a traumatic fall and injury) with flying colors! I never thought I’d be one of those people who wants to show off my scars but I get it now. I EARNED those, literally with my own blood, pain, sweat and tears (and the removal of five organs in addition to half an aisle of Ace Hardware! 😂)
—You MUST advocate for yourself! I am all about being civil and respectful when talking with people–though I will admit when under high stress I don’t always succeed in this endeavor. BUT, you NEED to politely (yet FIRMLY) advocate for yourself with medical providers. This may mean you need to call multiple providers for a second opinion (or at least to get seen sooner). I succeeded in having my ankle surgery with one provider several days before I would have even gotten a consultation with another provider–because I made the calls rather than relying on the ER to complete the referrals for me.
This may also mean you INSIST providers work with you regarding getting appointments scheduled. (Such as: don’t allow them to insist you travel 5 hours in one direction…across a frozen tundra, in January…solely for a 45-minute consultation…without being fairly confident you can have surgery the next day–*Just an example, I have “no idea” where it would have come from. 😇–ahem, AVERA!**)
It may also mean pushing a doctor to go with a higher-risk procedure (after weighing the likelihood of the risks and choosing yourself if you want to accept those) because it can mean a drastic change to your quality of life (rather than taking the safer, slower approach that may subject you to further months of pain and reduced life quality.)
It may also mean refusing a certain procedure or treatment option–even if it likely means a shortened life–because you don’t want your last days to be suffering the effects of treatment.
Doctors tend to push for what is more medically accurate, not necessarily what fits best within the actual lived experience each individual is facing.
And PLEASE, be sure to show as much passion in your appreciation of the services you received as you did when you were advocating for yourself to begin with!
–I do have to give shoutouts to Avera Medical Group in Sioux Falls, South Dakota and Black Hills Ortho/the Black Hills Surgical Hospital in Rapid City.
Scheduling was a little frustrating but once I was there both facilities and care were top-notch! My awesome gyno surgeon was like a big teddy bear–and I felt very safe and secure with both surgeons and their staff (and they both did a GREAT job!) The facilities were also very nice (food was better at Black Hills Surgical over Avera), but Avera had private rooms (with windows!) for every patient!–I had a very, cheery view of some Christmas lights from a house across the street!
I especially appreciated the chaplain and several members of my surgery team praying with us beforehand for my first surgery. I don’t know if this is common practice everywhere but Avera is a Catholic hospital. This service was offered to me (not required) and I eagerly accepted it. It gave both myself and Mr. Trekker a lot of comfort moments before I headed in for a pretty scary procedure! It felt good knowing that some of the people being blessed by the prayer were the very people who would have my life in their hands a few minutes later!
From the initial appointments with both facilities, I had no doubt I was in good hands! I think that was another mindful moment for me throughout this whole process. I usually like to handle everything myself, but in these cases, I just had to trust the experts and let go…
Be present, seize the moment, and embrace your downtime!
When you’re in those situations where your body FORCES you to slow down, it’s best to just embrace it and give yourself permission to “do life” at a slower pace for a while!
—Take LOTS of naps! (SO MUCH napping!)
—Do the “slow” activities you never find time for: journaling, art projects, puzzles, play games, watch terrible movies you fully enjoy! 😁
–Take the time to step back and RELAX!
—Take it easy and slow! LISTEN to your body! It WILL tell you what you should and shouldn’t do…and if you do something naughty, it WILL punish you for it. 🤭
—Enjoy the simple things! After my first surgery, while still in the Recovery room (and after not eating for close to 15 hours) they let me eat orange jello…I have never tasted anything so DELICIOUS in my life! (The broth they gave me was pretty good too!) Then on the third morning, when they finally let me have buttered toast after two days of being on a liquid diet, I thought I had died and gone to heaven! 😂 😁
In Conclusion:
So far, my post-surgery recoveries have gone well. My remaining ovary seems to be picking up the slack with no menopause symptoms yet (though I “may” go through that fun, change of life a few years earlier due to my first procedure.) My ankle also seems to be healing well.
Overall, given the circumstances, I think these experiences were the most positive they could have been!
So…ya wanna see my scars? 😉
Have you found Mindfulness helped you get through a difficult time in your life? Tell me about your experience in the comments!
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My feet would of been out from under the covers. Glad you are doing well, I have a few scars I could share.
I got warm too! 😂