mental health Archives : Tranquil Trekker

Ode to an Old Friend

In this post, I remember the life of a wonderful dog!

After 12 wonderful years, we finally had to say goodbye to our family dog. We aren’t sure exactly how old she was. We adopted her as a young adult in 2007 so…she was at least 13 and could have been closer to 15, just based on the information we were given at the time of adoption. This sweet, spoiled canine led a good, long life!

Allow yourself to feel grief

Sometimes “adulting” is hard. I’ve spoken before about how we don’t like to experience any pain in the modern world if we can avoid it (and frequently we can). There’s usually a pill that will at least help to dull the ache. Pain is never completely avoidable in life, though. One of those unavoidable heartaches is the loss of close friends (be they human or animal). Grief sucks…and it HURTS!

We must keep in mind though, that this feeling of loss we are forced to experience from time to time is actually a sign of a good life. That pain means you had something to love, something that added joy to your life, to begin with. We should consider ourselves blessed if we have things in our lives that hurt so much to lose.

The Trekkers have been preparing for this eventuality for quite a while. For the last several years, we’ve watched our dear friend, slow, lose her hearing, and the ability to fully enjoy many activities she used to delight in. The dog who once–with enthusiasm–drug our butts all the way up and down the 6,683-foot Mt. Mitchell, in North Carolina, became a greying friend who could barely make it around the block.

Our furry friend led an enjoyable life. Since 2007 she’s accompanied us on countless hiking and camping adventures, traveled with us to both Indiana and New England to spend holidays with our families, and relocated more than 1700 miles across the country with us when we moved from North Carolina to the Black Hills of South Dakota. (She glared at me from the back seat of my Civic through every mile of that trip 😂! This is a dog who used to get carsick after less than 15 minutes in a car, which made things interesting those first few years. 😛)

We adopted her from the Wake County Humane Society in Raleigh, North Carolina. For anyone living in the area, this is an amazing place. They provide an incredibly comprehensive survey to help match you with your ideal pet, and they provide support services after adoption (such as behavior counseling) if needed.

Happier memories of times past:

Black and tan dog lays on the back cushions of a sofa — She LOVED to sleep on the back of that couch (it did not survive her)! 😂

(View from the rear) Dog walks in front of a woman down a trail in the woods — Dragging Mommy down the trail…

(View from the rear) Dog walks down a snowy trail in front of a man — Dragging Daddy through the snow…

Black and tan hound dog stands on a rock in the forest — She loved getting outdoors!

In case it isn’t obvious from the pictures, this pup was spoiled rotten. 😉

We received her terminal diagnosis several months before she died, so we were very blessed to get to spend so much extra time with her. She ended up outliving the vet’s prognosis by several months! We were so happy that she hung on long enough to be able to enjoy laying in the sun and rolling in the soft, green grass of spring again.

I have to say a huge, “thank you!” to the staff at Dakota Hills Veterinary Clinic as well. They took such good care of our friend for the last eight years, she actually enjoyed going there. On her last day on earth, she happily walked in the front doors, excited to see the friends she had made there. The staff made a difficult and painful experience as easy as possible to bear.

We were fortunate to have more than 12 long years with our friend, and I like to think she was pretty happy with her human pack members as well.

We should all strive to live life like a hound dog!

Goodbye old friend, you are missed but you will never be forgotten…

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Reduce Stress by Embracing Mindful Minimalism

In this post, I provide a list of mindfulness and minimalism practices I use to keep my sanity when I’m stressed.

I hate that feeling when your mind seems to be racing out of control. When you’re so hyped up, your whole body feels like it’s trembling. It’s like you’ve ingested too much caffeine…you feel like life and your brain is careening out of control and you just can’t seem to relax. The more you try to focus on something the more it seems to slip through your mental fingers.

Yet you notice, perplexedly, when you take a breath and are able to relax, that thoughts come easier. You can remember and focus when, just a few hours ago, you couldn’t hang onto a thought for more than a few seconds…read on for tips on how to lessen stress using Mindful Minimalism.

Signs Your Body is Stressed

Tight stomach muscles…taught shoulders…you feel the dull ache of a tension headache at the back of your neck…then your eyelid or cheek starts to twitch…your lower back and shoulder blades are tense…there’s the occasional, weird twinge in your chest or abdomen…sometimes a lightheadedness kicks in, complete with difficulty focusing and a dazed sense of, what could almost be described as, disorientation…you may have trouble sleeping, or experience sleep disturbances or strange dreams…

These are all signs that our body is telling us, “YOU ARE STRESSED AND NEED A BREAK!” You know the stress is building when you notice these signs.

My understanding is some of the stranger symptoms, such as the lightheadedness and disorientation, occur because we have a tendency to unconsciously hold our breath– or at least breathe shallowly–when we are tense and stressed. This leads to lower oxygen levels and the disconnected, lightheaded feeling (it doesn’t help that I have chronic sinus and inner-ear problems that mess with my equilibrium 😋).

How to Use Mindfulness and Minimalism Practices to Reduce Stress

I’ve learned to take heed when these symptoms show themselves. At the first sign of them, I immediately try to kick my mindfulness, simplicity and minimalism practices into high gear. I focus on meditation, physical exercise and taking slow, deep breaths. I also try to focus on only one task at a time while keeping the distractions as minimal as possible.

In the age of our always-on, always-connected lives, many people are starting to feel that our brains are being overwhelmed, present company included. Below are some of the procedures I employ when I notice these symptoms and realize I need to take a little “me time”:

Digital Minimalism:

This may seem odd for a blogger, and full disclosure, I do use multiple social media platforms for the blog. However, I try to focus on them ONLY for the blog.

I do use them to stay up-to-date on certain subjects, mostly travel-related, and to keep in touch with long-distance family and friends. I also peruse the occasional political site to keep up with the news, as well. But I consider it a good sign when the platform is “nudging” me that I haven’t been posting much.

Prioritize Minimalism in All Areas of Your Life:

- - - - I try to minimize the distractions caused by music and television (unless I’m focusing on them as a means of relaxation).
        
        I try to focus on other relaxation practices such as coloring or writing in a journal.
      - I’m big on simplicity. I don’t wear much jewelry, and what I do wear tends to be small. I find one of my biggest irritations in the morning is how much time I waste “getting ready” (and the fact that Mr. Trekker can do it in half the time it takes me 😋). So, to counteract that, I keep that process as simple as possible. I don’t mess with my hair much, most days I don’t even dry it. I wear very little makeup, I don’t even own a bottle of hairspray anymore. 😋
        
        I’ve never been a very showy person (says the woman with a nose ring and tattoo, but hey, they’re both small! I suppose “showy” is in the eye of the beholder. 🙃) My tattoo is simple, consisting of only one color and a little shading. Both can be hidden if I choose.I prefer these methods of beautification because they are simple and constant. They’re there but are blessedly low maintenance. Often times I completely forget about them. They allow me to show off my own personal flair but in a subtle and simple way.

(To be clear, this isn’t intended as any sort of judgment on people who do prioritize beautification more. These methods are just part of the way I keep life simple. I was also always way too lazy to take the time to learn how to do much regarding my hair or makeup anyway. 😛)

Make Lists (LOTS of Lists!):

I’ve always been a fan of list-making, but I find during times of higher stress it’s even more helpful. It relieves stress because, when you write things down that you need to keep track of, you don’t have to “stress” 😉 about remembering them anymore.

This also helps with maintaining focus as you have fewer thoughts bouncing around in your head. I always carry a pen and a small notebook with me so, at a moment’s notice, I can write things down I don’t want to forget. You can also use the “notes” or “reminder” function on your phone, but I’m partial to the “old school” method.

Stress Makes Everyday Life Harder

High levels of everyday, mental stress make it more difficult to handle real problems when they actually occur. As an example, a “low-tire” light on a car, while not usually more than a nuisance, can feel like an insurmountable obstacle that you don’t feel like you can handle when your mental energy supply is already depleted.

One of my biggest struggles is feeling like IhavetorushandgetmytodolistdoneasfastasIpossiblycan!!! (That’s difficult to read, right? Yeah, that’s just a glimmer into the everyday workings of my foul little mind. 🙃)

Inevitably I find I allow myself to get stressed about all the things I need to do throughout the day or week. Sometimes they are legitimately urgent (in which case they go to the top of the Mental Energy Priority Pile). But more often than not, they’re just everyday tasks that need to be completed. Things like errands, groceries, chores around the house and various work tasks. These issues are by no means life and death, they’re just part of normal living. Inevitably I find I ALWAYS manage to complete them (quite often, faster and more easily than I thought I would). And if they take a little extra time to finish, guess what, the world somehow still continues on. The sun still rises each morning and sets each night, the birds still sing in the trees…

The trouble with all that stress I bring on myself is that when I complete the task and realize all is well…I still have all that negative energy built up…and then I start stressing about how to relieve THAT! 😛🙄

To Conclude:

Ultimately, it’s not healthy for us to maintain all the strain that we hold on a daily basis. The rates of anxiety and stress-related illnesses keep increasing in modern society. The saddest part of this is, that most of our lives aren’t even that difficult. We are literally making ourselves sick with illnesses that harbor potentially lethal consequences…over “First World Problems”. We all really need to CHILL OUT! 😉

More and more I’m finding that implementing mindful, minimalism practices helps with controlling my anxiety and stress-related symptoms. I hope this list helps you (and I) work toward a more serene life.

How do you implement Mindfulness and Minimalism practices to help reduce everyday stress? Let me know in the comments!

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Use Mental Energy Wisely

This post is about being purposeful and mindful with how we spend our limited supply of daily, mental and emotional energy.

I was sitting at one of our favorite overlooks on a recent weekend, with a panoramic view of the gorgeous, Black Hills countryside (see the picture above), and I couldn’t help thinking…our world is such a beautiful, amazing place. So, why aren’t people happier?

It seems that my social media feeds are full of people outraged over the scandal-of-the-hour; anxious about imminent dangers that could befall them and those they care about at any moment; or convinced that the overall state of our world is in steep decline. But are these thoughts many of us carry around on a regular basis helpful?

Most of us are just striving to be a productive employee, to keep the house from falling apart, and to keep control of a hectic schedule. Are these additional stressors a wise and productive use of our mental energy? Could the stress of these additional stimuli to our already overstimulated lives actually be detrimental to our overall health?

Be Careful with how you Use Mental Energy

Sadly, it is true that there are bad things that happen in the world every day. With the internet, multiple social media channels, and 24-hour news coverage we can easily be made aware of each and every one of them. But is this a good thing?

I think it’s good to be aware of problems in our world* as this makes us informed citizens. Being informed helps us to make better choices when we’re choosing our leaders. It helps us to know what policies our legislators are looking to enact (or what rights they may be looking to rescind). It’s also important to be informed of what problems our world is still facing in the modern age.

*Each person has to decide for themselves what constitutes a “problem”. Different issues are important to different people, as is the severity of any one issue in comparison to any other. An issue one person finds to be incredibly important, another may think is minor. I’m not here to tell you what you should care about, but simply to discuss a more productive way to prioritize what we care about.

I think it’s important to be aware of what is occurring around us, both in our local communities and the larger world. However, I think this concern becomes detrimental when we allow ourselves to become hyped up regarding numerous issues that we are made aware of throughout the day, week, month, and year.

It seems logical that if we are constantly worked up about given issues, both our mental and physical health will eventually suffer. This constant angst isn’t healthy. It can, understandably, cause depression as it leads to the impression that each day the world gets a little worse (as you will see later, this idea is NOT backed up by statistics).

Don’t take my word for it…

How is our current “information age” hurting us?

Anxiety in the West: Is it on the rise?

What is depression and why is it rising?

Why The World Is Getting Better And Why Hardly Anyone Knows It

Now for the good news!

The world is not actually going to hell in a handbasket:

Extreme poverty around the world is decreasing

Around the US, rates of violent crime are down

Life expectancy is increasing around the world

The statistics show that the world, in general, is continuing to get better. People are living longer, healthier lives. We live in a world that has greater access to opportunities and information (thanks to technology) than ever before in human history.

I’m not trying to suggest we should become lackadaisical with issues we care about. Even if improvement has been seen in recent years, this doesn’t mean that further improvement isn’t called for. But we can take a moment to step back and appreciate the gains we have achieved, and allow ourselves a little break.

Mental Energy is Finite

Our daily reserve of emotional and mental energy is finite. We only have so much available to us on any given day. We have to be purposeful in choosing how we use it.

It’s like saying that every day you wake up with $25 in your pocket. You can spend it on ANYTHING you want, but once it’s gone, it’s gone. You don’t get any more until tomorrow and you can’t borrow from anyone else. Once you’ve spent that $25 for the day if anything else comes along that requires those funds, it just has to suffer and go without.

This is important! Because we only have a given amount of energy available to us each day, we need to be mindful of how we use it. With our 24/7 access to events that are occurring throughout our world, we have to intentionally avoid being constantly stimulated by these. As there are so many things that could potentially sidetrack our energy, I think it’s important that we be purposeful and prioritize how we choose to expend that energy.

We each have to decide for ourselves how much we want to let the problems of the world take over our lives. I frequent multiple social media channels. On each, I see some people (emphasis on SOME) who seem to be outraged, every single day (often multiple times per day) over various issues.

While I believe their hearts are in the right place, I worry that thanks to modern media, we are constantly being exposed to events that we never used to be aware of. While the issues may be completely factual and worthy of concern, do each one of us need to be concerned with every single event? If you live in West Virginia, is it really a good use of your emotional energy to debate with a stranger on the internet about another stranger’s child who fell into an animal enclosure at a zoo in Arizona? 😝

While caring about these things makes us wonderful, compassionate people, at some point in time, we run out of emotional energy. At that point I wonder, are we really able to do any good to any of the causes we find so important when our reserves are spread so thin? Would it not be better to focus more on a specific issue?

Each person will have a different tolerance for how much energy they have available to expend. The reserves that each of us has within ourselves may even wax and wane as we work through the trials, tribulations (and joys) of everyday life. I just think we need to be selective on how we choose to use our personal energy reserves.

This may come off as selfish and that is not my intent. I don’t think we should only care about things if they directly affect us and hinder our daily lives in some way. We should be concerned when others are facing struggles. But is every negative event that occurs throughout the world deserving of all of our personal, precious emotional energy? Even if it doesn’t affect us or anyone we know personally? Even if it has no effect on our local community or even our larger state/province/country?

Perhaps we can better use the precious resource that is this energy on problems that are closer to home. Or, at least, maybe we should pick one or two issues to focus our attention on, rather than allowing ourselves to try to tackle every single one of the world’s problems.

To Conclude:

Ultimately, regardless of what happens today, the sun WILL come up tomorrow. Birds are still tweeting in nearby trees; babies are still crying at their mothers’ breasts; the trash still needs to be taken out. 😉 I think there are numerous issues and situations in our world that are deserving of our concern as human beings. But our personal, emotional energy is a precious gift. It is also a limited resource. I think we each, individually, need to be selective of where and how we use that resource.

This is a good way to reduce the stress in our lives. We need to be mindful and purposeful with how we use our concern in a world full of things to be concerned about. It is perfectly acceptable to say, “I don’t have the energy to put toward that today, I need to focus on my own mental health/family/community.”

Do you have any suggestions on how to better prioritize mental and emotional energy? If so, share them in the comments!

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Anxiety: The Devil Inside

In this post, I discuss two songs that I feel well explain my struggle with anxiety.

“Where words fail, music speaks.” –Hans Christian Anderson

Music has long been known to stimulate the brain and emotions. An entire field of therapy has evolved around this theory. Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows that I struggle with anxiety and some depression. I’ve mentioned previously how certain songs speak to me. Today I am going to discuss two songs I’ve always found draw a perfect picture of what it feels like to live with these disorders. (This may apply to other mental health diagnoses as well, but these are the ones I have personal experience with and can speak to.) The songs are “Monster” by Skillet and “Jekyll and Hyde”, by 5 Finger Death Punch…

“Monster” (by Skillet)

I love, love, LOVE this song! It is, by far, one of my top 10 favorite songs. It’s just so pertinent. It’s one of those tunes you can’t help but get revved up by. My understanding is, the band’s intent with this song was to use the “monster” as a metaphor for sin, or a person being fake and not showing their true selves to the world.

(For those who may not know, Skillet is a Christian rock band. I can proudly say I liked them back in high school. We don’t need to talk about how long ago THAT was, 😝 but let’s just say it was well before everyone else thought they were cool. 😉)

Anxiety as an invisible demon

“The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can’t control it…”

Every time I hear these lyrics I think of my struggle with anxiety. They refer to a monster (the diagnosis) that is caged (invisible). This is especially relevant as many of us who struggle with mental health disorders are often quite adept at concealing them. Sometimes, people suffer so silently they aren’t even aware they have a disorder at all, as they’ve never talked with a professional and been diagnosed. They may think they’re “just a worrier” or that they’re just “different” from other people.

It’s not uncommon for those who struggle with anxiety to actually be incredibly outgoing, driven, and as a result, quite successful. This means outsiders may be surprised to hear of their internal struggle, as it isn’t obvious. The thing about this monster is though, while I can keep it “hidden away” and subdued in its “cage”, I can’t control how it may scream or violently shake its enclosure (i.e. me 😝)…

“…the beast is ugly…”

The beast (the disorder) is nasty. Dealing with it is exhausting and a constant chore…

“My secret side of me I keep hid under lock and key…”

“…Cause if I let him out he’ll tear me up, break me down…”

I worry that if I slip and allow “the monster” to show its ugly face, that it’ll get out of its cage and I’ll lose control of it–and as a result–lose control of myself.

“It’s hiding in the dark, its teeth are razor sharp
There’s no escape for me…”

“…No one can hear me scream…”

This speaks to the fact that “the monster” causes emotional pain. It’s difficult to explain to others what it’s like dealing with a mental health diagnosis, so you feel like they can’t understand you. It makes you feel isolated…due to this, people often suffer in silence.

Anxiety constantly plagues you

“It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can’t control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head…”

“…I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin…”

Imagine the frustration of something continuously scratching on the walls around you, constantly picking at you. You know it can’t physically hurt you, but you also know nothing you do can make it go away, either. It accompanies you everywhere. It’s your everpresent, unwanted companion.

You feel it in your chest, it churns in your gut, it makes thoughts bounce around in your head. It hides just under your skin, where no one else can see it, but you know it’s there. You worry that it’s obvious to others though, oftentimes, it’s invisible…

There is no magic pill for anxiety

“The nightmare’s just begun…”

To me, this phrase speaks to the fact that this disorder is something I’ll, likely, have to deal with for the rest of my life. There’s no magic pill that will cure me tomorrow. It’s something I have to accept and deal with.

“Jekyll and Hyde” (by Five Finger Death Punch)

This song, obviously, references the pop culture icon where two souls, one evil, one an upstanding doctor, share the same body.

Anxiety is a constant anchor around your neck

“There’s just so much..weight on my shoulders
All I’m trying to do is live my…life
Supposed to be happy, but I’m only getting colder
Wear a smile on my face, but there’s a demon inside…”

just like Jekyll and Hyde…”

“…I feel like Jekyll and Hyde…”

This song also reflects the idea of a demon (the anxiety) living in you that you can’t quite control. It constantly wears on you and drags you down. You’re continuously dealing with this weight on your shoulders while putting on a brave face for the outside world. It even speaks to the feeling of guilt that is often present for bothering other people with this struggle because you know that others are struggling far worse than you are.

“I just wanna be Jekyll, but I’m always fighting Hyde…”

“…Everyone I know, they’ve got a demon inside…”

This also alludes to the notion that everyone struggles with problems. These could revolve around mental or physical health, finances, relationships, a job, or other outside circumstances beyond our control. Everyone is dealing with something.

In both of these songs, I see “the demon”, “Hyde” or “the monster” as a metaphor for my anxiety symptoms. They’re always there, waiting to rear their ugly head. I can usually control them, but sometimes, it’s a struggle.

Battling the “Demons” of Mental Health Disorders

A “demon” or a “monster” is a good way for me to describe my personal experience of the sensation of dealing with mental health diagnoses. Whenever I try to imagine my anxiety in a physical sense, it’s always in the form of a black shadow, with large claws, reaching out to grab me. Other times, I imagine a beast with its talons already embedded deep within my shoulder–like something out of one of Frank Peretti’s books from the ’80s. 😉

The “demon” is something I can control. I own it, not the other way around. However, what I can’t control is the fact that it is consistently present within me. I may be able to keep it from “breaking out” into the larger world, but it’s still something I have to deal with.

Are there “perks” to anxiety?

I don’t mean for this post to be a downer. I actually find both of these songs to be energizing. Who doesn’t enjoy some hardcore dance moves with a little headbanging thrown in for good measure? 😳😉 I’ve actually come to appreciate, to a degree, some of the insights into life that my anxiety has brought me. The disorder allows you to better empathize with the hidden struggles others face because you’ve experienced difficulties, personally, as well.

I also find my anxiety helps me to appreciate life more (in a sense). When you’re constantly stressing that something may go wrong, it helps you to fully appreciate, even the small things, that turn out right! The disorder also helps you keep in mind that regardless of how happy and “put together” someone may look on the outside, you have no idea what they may be dealing with privately. NO ONE has a perfect life, or has it “easy”. That’s a common bond we all share. I am thankful that I have learned how to use this struggle as a tool, to deepen my lived experience.

I don’t expect anyone to pity me for having to deal with this struggle. This is just the one God (the Universe, Fate–or Whoever/Whatever-you-believe-moves-the-pieces-around-on-this-giant-chessboard-we-call life) dealt for me. Everyone has challenges placed in their lives, this is mine. I just hope this allows you a clearer understanding of what life is like when dealing with an invisible illness or unknown, difficult situation. Maybe we can all use this knowledge to give each other a little break since we’re all dealing with something.

**Below are links to both songs. For those who aren’t aware, Five Finger Death Punch has an affinity for explicit word use. I love their music, but in the interest of keeping this blog’s PG rating, I left those words out of the lyrics. This is a GREAT song though (and it’s got an awesome guitar riff near the end) so I encourage you to click here for the UNRATED, full version. 😁 (But if you’re offended by strong swear words, you’ve been warned. 😉)

You can view the video for “Monster” here. (Anyone who’s heard the song knows one of the best parts is the final chorus line when an electronic demon sound screams “I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER!!!”) 😉

Do you struggle with anxiety or another mental illness? Is my experience similar to yours? Tell me about it in the comments!

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