Category: notes for a better world

Flight 93 Memorial

In this post, I review the Flight 93, September 11th Memorial in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

 

As part of a road trip out East to visit the Trekker In-Laws a few years ago, we visited the Flight 93, September 11th Memorial in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. (For anyone who isn’t aware, United Flight 93 was one of the four planes hijacked by terrorists on September 11, 2001.  They believe this one was headed towards the capital when it was brought down by the INCREDIBLY brave passengers who were trying to take control back from the terrorists.)

Author’s Note:  I usually try to keep this blog light and carefree.  Unfortunately, there is really no way to do that with this post.

I felt like I lost my innocence in a lot of ways on September 11th, 2001.  The metaphorical curtain was removed and I saw the depravity, hate, and evil capable in the human spirit.  I also felt horrible feelings within myself that I didn’t even know were there.  It was the first time in my life I understood how it felt to actually hate another human being, to feel like I wanted to lash out and hurt someone who was responsible for hurting others.  When you see innocent people being harmed, dying in horrific ways, knowing that families are being ripped apart, forever altered, it makes you angry.  You can’t understand why some people would want to hurt others like that. (As someone who has a degree in human psychology, I can understand that these feelings are perfectly normal as a reaction to such a trauma.  It’s still alarming to see those feelings manifested in myself, however.)

The Flight 93 Memorial Visitor’s Center

We started at the Visitor’s Center which was very well done.  It highlights the events of September 11th with various video and audio recordings that actually occurred that day (news reports, recordings from air traffic control, even some of the messages people on the planes left with their families–those were particularly heartwrenching.)

View up a green-grass hill at a large, concrete building
The Visitor’s Center at the Flight 93 National Memorial

It was a very emotional experience to visit this memorial, as I assumed it would be.  Mr. Trekker and I realized this is the only national memorial we’ve been to that commemorates something that happened in our own lifetime. (I’ve also been to the 9/11 Pentagon Memorial which is very beautiful.  We hope to visit Ground Zero at some point in the future, as well.).

I can’t imagine the thoughts and emotions that the people on the plane felt.  They knew what was happening and that they were likely to die, so they were facing their own mortality on top of dealing with this attack on their homeland.  I have always been awed by their bravery and their final act to try to stop the attack and take control back.  I pray I am never in a situation like that.

The memorial brought back memories of that fateful day.  Mr. Trekker and I were (barely) freshmen in college, we had only been there a couple of weeks.  Funnily enough, that was one of the first times we remember actually spending time together.  We went to chapel together with a group of friends that night…

One of the spooky parts of that day for us was our college was located only about an hour from Chicago.  A lot of the kids we were in school with were from the Chicago area and they were all worried that the terrorists might be targeting the Sears Tower (now the Willis Tower).   

Related Posts:  Hershey’s Chocolate World!; Gettysburg Battlefield

This was the first national crisis Mr. Trekker and I had ever lived through, it was definitely a defining moment for our generation. (I realize this is an indication of just how blessed life is for most of us in the US…the fact that we were almost 20 before we had to deal with a crisis like this and that for most Americans, this type of national crisis is a once or twice-in-a-lifetime experience.  We are so blessed not to live in a war-torn country!)

This was our “Pearl Harbor moment”.  I will never forget where I was or what I was doing that morning, what the weather was like, or how we found out “something” was wrong.

While walking through the memorial I just kept thinking, “I know our country and world are divided right now but man, I can’t contemplate one person having so much hate for another, and for seemingly innocuous reasons.  How can you want to kill someone who isn’t posing a risk to you or your family, who is just existing…most if not all of the victims were completely innocent (some were children even!)  

The Wall of Names

The Wall of Names is the actual, granite, memorial stone that looks much like many other memorials around the country.  It also sits at the bottom of the hill, near the final flight line and boulder that marks the crash site.  It features a separate stone for each innocent person killed on the flight with their names engraved in the marble.

View down the length of a long, concrete wall with names written on it
The Wall of Names

Flight 93 Flight Line and Crash Site

The actual crash site sits in a field below and behind the Visitor’s Center.  It was once an old mine that scarred the land.  Now it is a lovely green area filled with wildflowers, surrounded by trees and accentuated with birdsong.  I think it is a perfect memorial to the people who died.  I’m glad this former scar on the land got a new lease on life, so to speak.

A green meadow with trees in the background. A line is mowed into a portion of the grass
Flight 93 flight line. The mowed area is the final path the flight took before it crashed into the field.

According to one of the guides we spoke with, the plane hit the ground at over 500 mph with hundreds of gallons of fuel onboard.  Needless to say, the resulting explosion left very little behind.  So a boulder is used to mark the plane’s final resting place… 

A green field with a large boulder at the rear and trees behind
The boulder is the site of the actual crash of Flight 93. No one but the families of the victims are allowed out near it.

Walking Trails at the Flight 93 Memorial

There are several walking trails that ring the field that marks the plane’s final resting place.  One is the Avenue of Trees that is a paved trail lined on both sides by trees.  It circles one side of the field where the plane crashed and leads from Memorial Plaza, at the bottom of the hill where ceremonies are held, back to the Visitor’s Center.  It leads past the 40 Memorial Groves where more than 1500 trees were planted to commemorate the people who died at this site that day.

The Western Overlook Trail is a dirt and grass path that forms the other side of the loop around the field.  It runs from the Visitor’s Center down to the actual stone memorial and the crash site itself, and then on to Memorial Plaza at the bottom of the hill.

A paved walkway with trees on both sides
The Avenue of Trees

Tower of Voices

The Tower of Voices is located elsewhere on the monument’s property.  It is 93 feet tall (in honor of the flight number) and it features 40 different wind chimes (one for each, innocent person killed on the fateful flight.)  It needs at least a 12 mph wind to chime well.  It wasn’t ringing much the day we were there but what we heard was pretty.  It’s an unusual, haunting, and very subtle sound.

Click here for a video of the chimes in action. (This link takes you to the virtual tour of the site on the Memorial’s main page. Click “Enter” to start the virtual tour, then click on “Tower of Voices” at the upper right corner of the map.  Then click the musical note in the upper right corner. Sorry it’s convoluted, this is the best-sounding video I could find.)

A tall, concrete tower with holes throughout and bells hanging from it sits on a grassy hill
The Tower of Voices
View from the bottom of the metal chimes that hang from the tower
A look at the chimes that make up the Tower, from below.

US 30 through Southern Pennsylvania

We brought the scenic, US 30 back from the memorial.  This road holds a special place in my heart as it was the same route we drove to college (from home, in Indiana) and I took a portion of it from home to North Carolina when we lived there.  It’s funny how certain objects (like roads) can sometimes play a role in our lives.  As another example, US 6 ran right near where I grew up.  It also ran right through Mr. Trekker’s hometown, even though we grew up almost 800 miles apart.  We were connected long before we even knew it! 😀

This is a VERY pretty, country drive.  The route curves through forests and over and around hills–I use this term instead of mountains–technically we were in the Appalachian and Allegheny Mountains.  HOWEVER, they are thousands of feet shorter than the Black Hills in South Dakota, so I also call these uplifts hills. 😀 (Even though they are almost twice as tall, the Black “Hills” may be called that because they are thousands of feet shorter than their big brothers to the south and west in Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana. 😀)

**Final snarky note (I felt bad putting this further up) 😇 :
People wonder why I don’t like to fly (I’m probably one of the only ‘travel bloggers’ who hates to fly! 😂)  I don’t like dealing with airport security (which admittedly has gotten worse since 9/11).  I don’t like packing for it, I don’t like having to take my shoes off; I don’t like that flying in a plane is essentially just public transportation where they pack you into a tube, like sardines.

I don’t like that my flight in Michigan can get delayed for HOURS because it’s raining in California and I’m flying to Florida. 🙄   I’m also terrified of the prospect of crashing to my death from 30,000 feet in a fiery tube (and that’s just from good, old-fashioned, mechanical failure, that’s before the idea of terrorists comes into play.) 🙄  All of this is why the Trekkers’ road trip! 😂  

I really enjoyed our visit to the Flight 93 Memorial.  It is situated in a beautiful setting in the country.  It’s peaceful and tranquil, with the tweeting of birds surrounding you.  I couldn’t help thinking this would have made me mad if I had been there when the crash happened.  How dare the birds tweet happily on this horrible day! 😝  It is a wonderful, final resting place for the people who died on that fateful day, however.

I want to end this patriotic post with my favorite song that came out after 9/11.  I still get chills whenever I hear it…Courtesy of the Red White and Blue, by Toby Keith…

Have you been to the Flight 93 Memorial?  What was your experience like?  Tell me about it in the comments!

 

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View down the length of a long, concrete wall with names written on it. Pin reads, "Visit the Flight 93 Memorial in Shanksville, Pennsylvania"

 

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Mindful Thoughts on COVID

In this post, I look back COVID, from my perspective.

 

In the spring of 2020, the world ended (metaphorically speaking)…it still feels surreal…COVID…I feel like it became a punchline…of the worst joke EVER! 😝  So many people lost income and jobs to the Pandemic (I did), and so many lost their livelihoods.  So many people had their lives abruptly changed and for some things may never fully return to normal…

We were lucky out here in South Dakota.  We never had any real, state-wide mandates (masks or otherwise).  Most people were good about wearing masks during the height of the Pandemic.  (You still see people wearing them occasionally.  I still wear them sometimes for work but that’s because I work with people who are very high risk who also live and spend time in community settings.)

I am still awed at how a minuscule event in one corner of the world could shut the entire globe down…

The majority of the US population now has COVID antibodies (whether through vaccines, natural immunity, or both)

They say that as much as 95% of Americans now have COVID antibodies, whether that be from the vaccines, natural immunity, or both.  If I NEVER hear the words “herd immunity” again, it will be too soon! 😤 *sigh*

Mr. Trekker and I have both 😝

Mr. Trekker and I stayed healthy for a long time!  We both received our 3rd round of COVID shots in late 2021…and then we both got COVID (probably Omicron) in early January 2022.

I got it from him, we have no idea how he got it. 😝 

We didn’t have it too bad, it mostly felt like a bad sinus infection/cold. Interestingly enough, between the two of us, we were more worried about me getting it because I have mild asthma.  As it turned out, I hardly had a cough at all, while Mr. Trekker ended up with a mild cough for several weeks afterward…this virus is weird!

I also ended up with mild pinkeye as a side effect of my first round with COVID (apparently that isn’t too unusual with viruses.)  Since then, my eyes have become INCREDIBLY sensitive.  They’ve always been that way but now, if they get dry from dust or wind, or if I am near any food that could be considered even the teeniest bit spicy, my eyes will begin to burn and water horribly (like to the point where I can’t see out of them. 😝)  This is especially true in my right eye which is also the one that had the worse pink eye symptoms.

Then in June 2022, we both got it again…

This time, I’m pretty sure I got it from a client (even though we were sitting outside and she wasn’t symptomatic at the time.)

I then proceeded to pass it on to Mr. Trekker and MommaTrekker. 😔

We were really worried about her as she’s over 70 and has several pre-existing conditions. She had just had a booster a few weeks before though and honestly faired better than either of us! 

This time it didn’t last as long and the symptoms weren’t as severe. Unfortunately, we both ended up with a cough that lasted WEEKS and more lasting Long COVID symptoms from this round–mostly brain fog and memory issues (that unfortunately lasted for YEARS afterward!)

Again…*sigh*

I HATE this virus! 😡

Then in late 2024 my parents and I were at church together. I remember distinctly thinking this is the first time in SO LONG that I can remember that I’ve been in a situation like this where I don’t hear ANYONE coughing or sneezing–by Tuesday both myself and both parents were sick! Yep, tested positive for COVID a THIRD time! 🙃 (Fortunately this time was the most mild for all of us, and Mr. Trekker lucked out as he was away for a work conference at the time and he completed missed out on the fun. 😝)

Mindfulness in the Midst of a Worldwide Pandemic

I try and keep a somewhat positive outlook on the whole experience by being mindful of how the pandemic ACTUALLY played out vs. how the experts feared it might end up.

There were more than one million deaths in the US from COVID-19, and millions more worldwide, and to be clear, EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of these was awful!  However, when the whole mess started the experts were projecting more than two million deaths in the US alone, before the end of 2020, and that was with social distancing protocols being implemented.

I don’t mean to make light of the tragic losses that did occur, but this FAR lower statistic is a pretty amazing feat!  It is a testament to the scientists, researchers, medical professionals, and technology we have available to us at this point in history!  If this awful virus had come around 100 years ago or more, billions could have died! (Think the Spanish Flu.)

Valid Emotions During Crisis Situations:

We all experience and respond to crises differently but I think it’s important to acknowledge that whatever feelings you had regarding COVID were valid.  We should be mindful of how we express them but don’t run from these emotions (be they positive or negative).  Accept them and acknowledge they exist (because they will whether you fight them or not).  We must allow ourselves to feel whatever it is we need to.  Below are some emotions I experienced throughout COVID:

Anger About the Pandemic:

—Hoarding: Many people seemed to think only of themselves and didn’t save enough products for others (some who were seniors or the immune-compromised who really shouldn’t have been going out).  If you aren’t the Duggars, or you aren’t buying toilet paper for multiple families, you don’t need to hoard! 😡 

On the other hand, we were told not to hoard, but then the CDC and other emergency preparedness groups came out and said to have up to a month’s supply of food on hand…what were we supposed to do with those two bits of contradictory information? 🤷

Leave people alone!: I never understood many peoples’ desires to comment on the choices of others.  I’ve said before on several occasions that I lean Libertarian so I’m pretty big on people being left alone to make their own choices.  However, I do understand in crisis situations when at least local governments may need to implement certain restrictions in the interest of Public Health.

More so than that though, I don’t understand peoples’ need to criticize others for wearing a mask or being careful when the general public is no longer being forced to.  You have no idea what a person’s situation is. Just because they wear a mask doesn’t necessarily mean they’re “living in fear” (and if they are, so what? How does that affect you?)  They may be immunocompromised (or be caring/living with someone who is.)

There was a point, several years into the pandemic, where I was preparing for–and recovering from–MAJOR abdominal surgery that required a multi-day hospital stay.  I went full March 2020 and wore masks for WEEKS in public around that time.  It wasn’t that I was “scared” per se, but I did NOT want to get sick with ANYTHING!  It could have led to my surgery being delayed, my getting horrifically ill, or serious complications after surgery due to violent coughing/sneezing/vomiting. 

So, why not just leave people alone to do what they feel is best for them? (And you can do the same for yourself!)

—The Media:  I often felt a sense of rage at the news media.  I’ve distrusted them in the past but after COVID I’ve become completely jaded–regarding the virus and most other news-worthy issues.  They seemed to mislead at every turn if it could cause controversy. (I probably shouldn’t be surprised anymore but I still am at points.)

I’d read a clickbait headline that makes one claim and then goes on to almost disprove itself if you read the actual text of the article, or watch the entirety of the video clip they referenced in the article.  They weren’t openly lying, because there was a semblance of truth in what they said, but their claim was so far from the truth that it may as well have been a lie with the message they were proclaiming to the masses (and for the record, I don’t care which news source is your favorite, I’ve seen ALL of them do this.)

They seemed to take pleasure in reporting bad news and stirring people up.  They didn’t take the time to fully research information, that would apparently have taken too long. 🙄  It seemed to be more important that they were “the first” to break a story.  The really shameful thing was, that I don’t believe they cared.  They just went happily along reporting bad news every chance they got because it may have helped a reporter’s career or a certain company’s reputation.

Depression and Anxiety over COVID:

Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows I already struggle with anxiety (which obviously, COVID caused for many of us.)  One symptom of anxiety is catastrophizing.  This means your mind automatically jumps to worrying about the worst-case scenario and that was SO EASY to do during COVID.

I believe I’m technically an optimist at heart.  I try to focus on the positive (although I worry about the worst-case scenario, of course, especially with my anxiety).  But it just felt like, during the Pandemic, that so many only wanted to focus on the worst thing that could happen and they wanted to scream that to the world.  Why?  Why do we seem to focus on things that make ourselves and others miserable?

We need to rely on Logic, not Emotion during these difficult situations!  I believe we have to be calm and logical when dealing with times like these.  I don’t mean to sound snarky, but why can’t people stay rational when things get difficult without immediately jumping to APOCOLYPSE?!  It feels like they’re pouring salt into an already raw, gaping wound…

COVID is here to stay–unfortunately…

COVID will never be “fully” over, at least not for the next few decades.  From what I’ve heard from the experts, fairly regular–hopefully mild–infections and regular vaccines (at least for some) are going to remain a part of “normal” life. 😕  

At one time I was hopeful that we were on our way out of this mess.  Now that I’ve done everything right (at least regarding getting my vaccines) and (at least I) STILL got COVID (THREE TIMES!)–AND we’ve got Long-COVID symptoms I’m more skeptical…

I believe in science. I believe it’s very possible the reason neither of the Trekkers got all that sick from this potentially deadly disease was due to our vaccines.  I also believe the reason none of our parents have gotten very ill from COVID is due to vaccines.  And I am VERY thankful for these! 

But when we got sick 1 MONTH after getting our boosters (in my case this happened two. seperate. times!) I just felt…DONE.  I think, at that moment, I just gave up.  It’s here, it isn’t going away, and we have to learn to live with it….THE END. 😪

I understand the vaccines probably worked as intended and those in our families who have had COVID while vaccinated came through relatively unscathed.  But we still got it, and I’m assuming if another strong variant develops, we will likely be at risk of at least mild disease from that.  So, this is our “new normal”. 

We will probably have the threat of at least mild illness always looming…possibly for the rest of our lives…it sucks but I just feel like that’s what we have to adjust to and accept for the foreseeable future. *sigh*–again!

Searching for Hope and Encouragement in Crisis Situations

I have to end this post on a good note, right?

I can’t help it.  Even with my learned helplessness after years of being beaten down by COVID, I still feel a glimmer of hope.

COVID was a unique time in our lives.  Many of us have never experienced something like this before.  As a (very OLD) Millenial, the only country-wide crisis I’ve really had to deal with was the September 11th terrorist attacks.

I grew up hearing stories about my grandparents’ generation dealing with World War II, the rationing of meat, the transitioning of factories to make equipment for the military, and the various Drives people engaged in at home for the “war effort”.  I always wondered what it would be like to be able to do something like that to help your country.  Now I know…

Through all this, I’ve been reminded that there is a lot of good in the world, and times like these are when it really shows.

A lot of good things DID happen!  Vaccines were produced in an unheard-of, record time.  So many people bound together to help each other get through the crisis, from wearing masks and social distancing in public to those who volunteered their time to make masks for local schools and hospitals.  Others ran errands for people who felt they couldn’t go out.  Some small businesses transitioned to help their local communities (like distilleries that stopped producing alcohol and started producing hand sanitizer instead.)

I think a lot of the world’s goodness was shown throughout COVID.  I know I’ve learned a lot, both about myself and also about the reality of country-wide/worldwide crises:  how they proceed, how people react to them, the good and the bad.

So there are things to be hopeful about regarding COVID!

What did the COVID crisis feel like to you?  What POSITIVE things did you see during this time of crisis?  Share your experiences in the comments!

 

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Give Wildlife Room to Roam

In this post, I discuss the need to respect wildlife and give them their space.

 

Public Service Announcement!  I apologize in advance, this post is going to be a bit of a rant. 😇 

Every year tourists come to our beautiful corner of South Dakota.  They visit some of our amazing locations like Wind Cave National Park and Custer State Park.  Many of these visitors aren’t used to some of the exotic wildlife we have here.

Many of them have only seen domesticated animals in their pens, or have only seen wild animals if it’s been behind the safety of cages or other dividers in places like zoos.  Out West, we have national and state parks where there’s nothing between you and the MASSIVE, POWERFUL, and VERY WILD animals except a little bit of oxygen.  So let’s talk about giving wildlife room to roam!

Every year you hear of people getting attacked by deer, elk, or bear (especially in places like Yellowstone National Park.)  Oftentimes they’ll get charged or gored by buffalo which especially, seem to be problematic and tempting for visitors.  They look like domesticated cows…note to self, THEY AREN’T!  They are strong, they have INCREDIBLY HARD AND POWERFUL heads, and oh yeah, they have SHARP HORNS!…even the females.

It’s pretty well known that Mommas of any species can get quite aggressive when defending their babies. (I’m not a human Momma but Puppers is my baby and I will go into full Momma Grizzly mode if someone or something tries to hurt her. 😝 )  Oftentimes, mother animals are the ones that can pose the greatest risk to us, or our dogs.  Even neighborhood deer have been known to act aggressively when they think their young are in danger. 

We all need to remember that when we go out in the wild, we are invading the animals’ homes.  Let’s be courteous guests and treat this natural beauty with the respect it deserves!  If an animal reacts to you in any way, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE!  It doesn’t matter if you think you’re giving them plenty of space or if you “aren’t even doing anything”.  If the animal reacts to you that’s his way of telling you that you need to back off, and that should be the end of the story.

So the next time you’re visiting one of these amazing locations or interacting with wild animals in any setting, take it from a local (and heed the advice of the MANY signs that are posted ALL OVER these types of parks)…#dontpetthefluffycows! 🙄  We are supposed to be the superior species in regards to mental prowess, after all, so let’s act like it, please! 😝

Do you have any suggestions for enjoying the beauty of wild animals while also giving them space?  Let me know what they are in the comments!

 

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3 pictures: 1) A cow elk walks through a meadow with trees behind her; 2) A cow moose stands in front of a fence. A rocky mountain and pine trees are behind her; 3) In the background, several moose stand in a meadow with pine trees behind them. A creek is in the foreground. Pin reads, "Please! Give Wildlife Their Space!"

 

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Microadventures: Fun Close to Home!

In this post, I review a recent adventure the Trekkers pursued, “chasing” the Neowise comet!

 

I’m going on a Microadventure!

What is a Microadventure?

“Microadventure” is a term that’s come about in recent years.  It basically means you’re going on an adventure that’s close to home, easily accessible, and can be completed in as little as a few hours.  It can range from anything from a Saturday picnic in the woods to a several-day long camping trip.  It can be enjoyed at any time, though it became increasingly popular during Covid when many people were choosing to save some money, and to not venture too far from home.

Microadventures are a great way to find the hidden gems to enjoy in your local community and region.  They’re especially helpful as an escape from everyday stress and burnout when you may not have the time, funds or vacation days for a lengthy trip.

The Trekkers live for microadventures, be those outdoor activities in the Black Hills, or storm chases in the nearby plains!

One of our favorites was several years ago when we “chased” Neowise, the comet that made a surprise appearance in the skies above us!

This wasn’t the first comet I’ve seen in my life.  I’m old enough to remember standing outside my childhood home, in the 1990s, with my mom one night, checking out the Hale-Bopp comet through the binoculars.

How do I find a microadventure near me?

It helps that we live in a beautiful place that makes these opportunities many and easy to find, though you can enjoy these types of activities in most places if you know where to look.  Go to your local community park or just take a drive in the country outside the city lights.  So many places have walking paths and greenways now, even in more urban areas.  There are also museums, historical and natural sites, and additional recreational activities, such as ropes courses to explore.

We actually started our chasing adventure on Skyline Drive, which traverses the ridgeback that splits the town of Rapid City in two.  Unfortunately, the light pollution from town made it difficult to see the comet.  A few evenings later we visited Badlands National Park, with MommaTrekker and Puppers in tow.

Badlands National Park, by-the-way, is one of the best places to view the night sky that I’ve ever seen.  As the park’s location is the epitome of the “middle-of-nowhere” and being that this area is more arid, where clear skies are a common occurrence, this is a place with very little light pollution where you can view the night sky in all its grandeur.  It helped that the night we went, the moon wasn’t up yet.

My mom agreed that she had never seen so many stars, and she’d spent the last 40 years living on a farm in Indiana!  Several different constellations, planets, and the Milky Way were also easily visible to the naked eye.  I can also attest, from previous experience, that this is a GREAT place to view meteor showers! 😮 

Several days later, we finished our adventure with a short drive to Pactola Lake which is about a half-hour to the west of Rapid City.

A small, white-colored comet streaks across the dark night sky
Neowise over the Badlands!

A small, white-colored comet streaks across a dark, night sky dotted with stars

Whether you don’t have much spare time, you prefer sticking closer to home, or if you’re trying to save a little on expenses, try out a microadventure.  See what you can discover near you!

What sorts of activities do you enjoy on your microadventures?  Tell me about them in the comments!

 

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Samelius Trail Portion of the Black Hills Centennial Trail

In this post, I review the hike on the Centennial Trail between the Samelius Trailhead and Sheridan Lake

 

One interesting hike that is part of the Black Hills Centennial Trail runs between the Samelius trailhead and Sheridan Lake.

This section of the Centennial Trail is about seven miles in total length and ends at the Calumet trailhead at Sheridan Lake–obviously you can hike the trail from either direction, starting at either trailhead.

Hiking North from the Samelius Trailhead

The Centennial Trail runs in two directions from this trailhead, northbound towards Sheridan Lake and south, to the vicinity of Mount Rushmore and Horsethief Lake.  These are both good hikes. We’ve only completed a small portion of the southbound route, so I’ll leave that review for another day.

The Trekkers have now hiked portions of this route from each direction/trailhead. You’ll notice I said “portions” because…this trail is ROUGH and it kicks our sorry butts every time we try it!

It is a LOVELY route though and definitely worth the effort! I would dub this trail as a fair unknown and hidden gem in the Black Hills! It won’t take you to the summits of any of the major, nearby mountains on its own. (There are several in the local area that you can climb to though, if you’re daring enough to trek off-trail.  Mt. Samelius is one of these.) Also, if you know where to look, there is a Black Hills Secret Spot that can be reached somewhere off this portion of the Centennial Trail…😇

We have attempted this route at least four separate times and have never traversed the entirely of the trail between these two trailheads!

Try 1) it started lightning and thundering so we turned back…(I think this actually happened a few times…)

Try 2) I rolled my ankle SEVERELY about halfway up–we continued on to the summit before turning around…but in hindsight I probably should have turned back sooner…

Try 3) We attempted this route starting at the Calumet Trailhead at Sheridan Lake and did ok but never made it to the summit (that we reached on “Try 2”). To be fair, it was a pretty hot day! 

Try 4) We attempted from the Samelius trailhead again and got further than we’ve ever reached before but STILL didn’t make it to the point we reached on “Try 3” *sigh*

Did I mention this section of trail kicks our butts EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.?!

What is the hike from the Samelius Trailhead like?

While the route from either trailhead ends up quite steep, we enjoy the hike from Samelius the best. For the first mile or so it follows an old, forest road so the path is wide and not too steep. (It reminded us of some old, carriage roads we’ve been on in parks out East!) After that it ventures back into the woods on a one-track trail that gets more rocky.

A rocky, hiking trail in the forest with a few spots of snow
This is the begining of the rockier section of the trail

You will be treated to scenic vistas of Black Elk Peak (formerly Harney Peak) and the Cathedral Spires from the trail and there are several places you can spot portions of Sheridan Lake and the prairies that extend east of the Hills!

Expansive view over mountains covered in pine trees. A tiny portion of a lake is in the background...
If you look closely in the background, you can see a portion of Sheridan Lake.

The steepest part of the trail coming from either trailhead is in the middle–though we found the entirety of the route from the Calumet trailhead to be steeper and not quite as pretty–you do get more glimpses of Sheridan Lake on this side.

The Samelius portion of the Centennial Trail is tough!

The path can be challenging, so you need to watch your step (as I found out when I made a misstep on a small rock–this was “Try #2″….)

I rolled my ankle the worst I ever have less than a mile into the hike.  At first, it didn’t seem that bad.  It really didn’t hurt and there wasn’t any real evidence of bruising or swelling, so I decided to continue on.  When we stopped for lunch at our turnaround point is when the stiffness and pain really settled in and I realized I may have pushed on too far. (Of course, we were also several miles from the truck at that point. 😝 )  Fortunately, Mr. Trekker fashioned a perfect hiking pole for me, out of a downed tree branch we found nearby.  It made the trip back far more bearable for my ankle.–he’s never had to do that before or since. (This was the worse ankle injury I’d ever had…until I broke the other ankle in two places, dislocated it and tore a tendon falling on the ice several years later. 😝 In another hindsight, I probably should have named this blog The Clutzy Trekker. 🙄)

A purplish bruise wraps around the outer ankle of a foot
The bruise from rolling my ankle wrapped all the way around the outer ankle!

Don’t Hike Alone!

A hiking trail through a pine forestOk, time for a little tangent–bear with me, I truly feel this is IMPORTANT!

My ankle injury on “Try #2” is another good example of why I stress that it isn’t safe to hike alone.  (And no, your incredibly adorable, four-legged companion does NOT count as a hiking partner. 😐)

I know this opinion isn’t popular but it is a hill I will die on! It is always astounding to me how quickly accidents can happen on the trail, and how silly things can cause them. 😔

On “Try #2” I didn’t fall (for once) or slip on ice, I can’t even blame the dog for pulling on me too much.  We were just walking down a dry section of trail that was relatively flat.  It happened to be a bit rocky and I stepped on one of the rocks protruding from the ground wrong, which turned my ankle.  Unfortunately, my momentum was already carrying me forward so I proceeded to–heavily–put my full weight on that ankle, and felt a *pop!* (not to mention numbing shocks running from my ankle bone up my shin and down my foot. 😝)

Some may argue that my decision to continue hiking was foolish, and they may have a point.  The Trekkers have had some First Aid training so we implemented what we learned.  The pain subsided fairly quickly, I had full range of motion with my foot and I could put my full weight on it.  This suggested I wasn’t hurt too badly and this wasn’t the first time I rolled my ankle on the trail. (I have a tendency to underpronate when I walk so this happens easily and regularly to me.)  

We examined the ankle and it showed no signs of visible swelling or bruising.  Since it wasn’t really a struggle to continue hiking I decided to press onward.  Some of this was also pure stubbornness.  As we had already attempted this trail several times before and had never gotten very far due to the “Tries” mentioned above. I really wanted to continue on and keep enjoying the warm weather, so I chose to plod on.     

As we slowly made our way back to the car, I couldn’t help thinking how things would have been different if it had been just me on the trail.  I probably could have gotten back on my own, we weren’t that far out and I wasn’t hurting that badly.  However, if it had been just me and the (barely) one-year-old, rambunctious pup…

I did ok navigating the route on my own with a walking stick, but if I had needed to be tethered to an energetic pup in addition, that feat would have been far more difficult (especially if the injury had occurred further along on the trail where the terrain became more strenuous).

To further belabor my point…

      1. I feel the need to stress my warning is NOT a gendered statement–mens’ ankles twist and snap! just as easily and quickly as women’s!
      2. Several years later when I fell on the ice and actually broke my ankle I WAS alone with the dog–THANKFULLY we were in our local neighborhood, only about a block from the house, and some WONDERFUL strangers stopped to help!
      3. …if you read the post linked below you’ll learn about the time I fell through a snow drift and the foot of my snowshoe got stuck under a buried, fallen log. While I wasn’t injured, if I had been alone it would have been VERY difficult for me to reach to dig out or unhook the snowshoe. I was off trail, stuck in a gulley, with no cell service and would have had to scream for help until someone *hopefully* heard me. And to top it off I was buried up to my waist in wet snow and it was a fairly chilly, windy day…at that point hypothermia would have become a very, real threat…

So I’ll say it again folks, learn from my mistakes and DON’T VENTURE INTO THE WILD ALONE!!!  (OK, off my soap box now. 😇 )

Always Bring Extra Gear!!!

This incident also further demonstrated to me why it’s important to ALWAYS bring extra gear.  I almost didn’t bring a warm coat the day I rolled my ankle just to save weight and space.  Even though it was early February the forecast was calling for fairly warm temperatures (not that unusual to have warm days occasionally in the Black Hills in the winter!) I did end up–wisely–including my winter “puffy” coat at the last minute, as it’s super light and packs well.  I just couldn’t bare the thought of not bringing it along in the middle of winter, just in case…

As it turned out, I didn’t end up using the coat.  HOWEVER, if my injury had been worse to the point where I had needed to wait for rescue, I easily could have become chilled and potentially even hypothermic if I hadn’t had a warm coat with me (I was sweaty and it was a breezy day).

Accidents can happen on the trail in a split-second folks, and it doesn’t have to be in wet, slippery, cold, or even difficult conditions.  A fun walk through the woods on a warm day can become a rescue scenario in a matter of seconds.  Please, learn from my experience, and ALWAYS BE PREPARED!!!

To Conclude

If you’re looking for a little tougher hike and you want to explore a lesser-known but beautiful trail in the Black Hills, check out the Samelius area of the Centennial Trail!

Have you ever hurt yourself while out hiking?  Did you learn anything from the experience?  If so, let me know in the comments!

 

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View over mountains covered in pine trees. In the foreground are rock boulders covered in a little snow. In the background, a tiny portion of a lake peaks through the mountains. Pin reads, "Samelius Trailhead. A hike northbound on the Black Hills Centennial Trail from the Samelius Trailhead toward Sheridan Lake.

 

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A Very Trekker Christmas

In this post, I discuss some of my happiest memories from Christmas, as well as some new traditions the Trekkers have started.

 

Happy Christmas everyone!

This has always been one of my favorite holidays, so on this Christmas Eve Day I thought I’d reflect on some holiday memories from my childhood, and some new traditions that Mr. Trekker and I have been implementing into our own, little family.

Trekker Family Traditions

Family Christmas traditions are funny, and growing up, my family was no exception.  Time for a bit of a confession…I never really believed in Santa (shocking, I know 😮).  Some people think that’s sad, but I was always richly blessed during this time of the year, so I never felt like I missed out on much.  Below are some of the reasons why I went without this holiday tradition:

1)  We didn’t have a fireplace growing up, so even as a child, my overly logical, skeptical mind was like, “ummm…how would that work?”

2)  My mom always put presents under the tree when she was done wrapping them.  I’m not sure how this got started, but to me, a tree looks naked if there are no presents under it (and yes, I still do this too.) 

Also, I always helped her shop for, and wrap, presents for my cousins, so I kinda figured that if she was “Santa” for them…it’s pretty obvious who Santa was for me! 😉 

Also, also, inevitably, I always ended up finding one of my presents before the big day and it was ALWAYS on accident (truly!)  One year, my mom sent me to her closet to get something for her, completely forgetting one of my unwrapped presents was hidden in there! 😂

3)  I grew up in a very religious family, especially on my dad’s side, so that aspect of the holiday was always stressed more than Santa or the gifts (Grandpa and Uncle were pastors after all 😉).  I think this was good though, as it always helped me to keep the commercialism of the holiday in perspective.

One tradition we had for a few years, when the kids were young, is to have a birthday cake for Baby Jesus on Christmas Eve.  We even got to sing “Happy Birthday” to Him (and there was cake so…😁!)  I think that is such a cool tradition.  It’s a fun way to help keep the true meaning of Christmas front-and-center for kids!

A box of Queen Anne cordial cherries sits on a table
Not everyone likes these sweet treats (I do!) but they represent a special memory for me. We would have them every year at my Grandma’s house at Christmas!

4)  Most of my Christmas memories from my childhood are from the BIG gatherings we used to have at my grandparents’ house on Christmas Eve.  The WHOLE family (we’re talking like 20 people) would gather there, with mounds of presents stacked everywhere.  After dinner, we always dressed in our best (I usually got a pretty, new dress each year, several times my mom even made them!) and we went to the Christmas Eve church service, which has always been my favorite of the whole year! 

The church would be decked out in beautiful lights and decorations, and it would always end with a moving version of “Silent Night”, lit only by candlelight.  Then, the lights would be brought back up, and while we basked in the acrid, sulphuric smoke that wafted from the tips of the blown-out candles (I LOVE that smell), we’d be sent off to a rousing rendition of “Joy to the World!”

Then we’d return to Grandma’s house for…PRESENTS! (This is probably another reason why I never believed in Santa. 😂)  

The story my grandfather told me for starting the tradition of opening gifts on Christmas Eve was that my mom and her three siblings used to wake my grandparents up REALLY early on Christmas morning to open presents (of course).  The “old folks” didn’t like it, so…they started opening presents Christmas Eve instead, so they could sleep in Christmas morning! 🤣 (To be fair, my mom disputes this story. 😂)  I always thought I was lucky, all the other kids had to wait a whole other sleep to get their presents, HA! 😉

Changing Holiday Traditions

As an adult, the holidays always seem a little weird, especially when you move far away and only return home occasionally.  They say you “can’t go back again” and in many ways this is true.  The experience is never quite the same as the rose-colored memories you have from childhood.

I have SO MANY amazing memories associated with this holiday.  I find these days though, my feelings are somewhat bittersweet.  I still LOVE all the shiny lights, carols, the beauty and peace of a candlelit church service, and time spent with family…but Christmas doesn’t quite feel the same as I remember as a kid.  For the last 20 years, things have been changing, as all of us “kids” have been moving out (and away) and getting busy with our own lives. 

You watch once-vibrant grandparents and parents age, slow, and eventually, one year, become only a memory…so all the memories made with them start to dim, as well. 

It just never quite feels the same as the days when Grandma would crawl around on the floor with us kids, with silly string in her hair.  One year the tree fell over on her as she rooted around for that last Christmas present (true story, there is video evidence of this somewhere! 😁)

A grandma lays on the floor laughing and playing with two grandchildren amongst wrapping paper
This is my favorite pic of that crazy lady, it shows her in her element…with her grandchildren.  This was Christmas, circa 1986, and yes, that brown mop of hair you see on the left would be me.

Relatives or childhood friends you were once almost inseparable from, you may now find you have little to talk about outside the updates you’re already aware of from social media.  While some family members are lost, new ones are added (both through marriage and birth).  While these are, certainly, blessings, the additional people–and their responsibilities to their own families–create complexities of their own.

Traditions change.  What used to be a gathering at Grandma’s house, of what seemed like 100 people (when you were 5), is now a smaller group sitting around another table, or even gathering at a restaurant where you can pay a stranger to cook for you and clean up afterwards! 😉 

It’s almost impossible to get everybody together at the same time anymore.  Everyone lives all over the country (sometimes all over the world!) and we’re all busy with our own families (and families-in-law).  Even on the rare occasions we DO all get together, there are so many other distractions (many of us have young kids of our own now). 

It just isn’t the same as when we used to stay up till 3 am on Christmas Eve, my cousins and I, playing with our new toys together, while the adults played cards in the other room…  

Your concept of family may change too.  It’s no longer just about blood relations (especially as various in-laws or step-family members are added).  Not everyone was blessed with a close-knit, loving family.  Others may have no close family left or those that remain may live too far away to visit with every holiday.  For many, friends make a wonderful, adoptive family.

There is always a sense of loss of family members, and “the old ways”.  One of the only real guarantees we have in life is that things WILL change.  This can be a good thing, though.  We can store up wonderful memories of bygone days, and continue some old traditions from times past while seeking to embrace new practices that will carry with them wonderful memories of their own.     

New Traditions

Mr. Trekker and I have started to develop our own traditions.  Christmas Eve, I make homemade lasagna, then we open presents with my parents (gotta keep that tradition alive!) and still enjoy a candlelit, church service.  We also like to watch a “big” Christmas movie that night, like “It’s a Wonderful Life”. 😁  Then, before bed, we read “The Night Before Christmas”. (When I was a kid we often read the Christmas story out of the Book of Luke, from the Bible, but now we kinda figure we’ve just heard it at church, so… 😉)  Then…for the big finale…we have a little slumber party in the living room with the dog, under the glowing lights of the Christmas tree!  Who needs kids to have fun?! 😂

When Christmas morning comes, we start it off with homemade treats for breakfast!  Then, there’s Facetime chats with Mr. Trekker’s side of the family (we  “Zoomed” Christmas morning with relatives who live in far-off places for years, long before COVID made it cool! 😝)  Then it’s time for the big, Christmas dinner!  Finally, we end the evening on the couch watching “A Christmas Story” (the one with Ralfie…”you’ll shoot your eye out!”)

To Conclude

Change is inevitable, and I will CHERISH those Christmas memories from when I was a kid for the rest of my life.  But I am also excited to make new memories, in the new situations we find ourselves, and with the new friends and family who may be joining us in the years to come.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!  Enjoy your traditions with your own friends and families (be they blood-relation or otherwise and whether they are in-person or virtual) this holiday.  Merry Christmas to you all, and as Tiny Tim would say, “God Bless us, everyone!” 😉

Tell me about your family’s Christmas traditions in the comments!

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A grandma lays on the floor laughing and playing with two grandchildren amongst wrapping paper. Pin reads, "A Trekker Christmas"

 

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I Do: 10 Tips on Making a Marriage Last

After more than a decade of marriage, I give my 10 tips on how to make it last!

 

Author’s Note:  I originally wrote this post five years ago for our 10-year anniversary. We’ve been through a lot together in the succeeding five years:

–we survived a worldwide pandemic and relative lockdown (complete with multiple rounds of COVID each–we like to share 😝–and now we’re both learning how to live with long-term COVID-brain 🥴 )
–Mr. Trekker was an AWESOME caregiver when I had major surgery  

I wanted to add more items five years on but honestly, I couldn’t really think of anything else helpful to add.  So, from someone who is five years further into a lengthy, successful, and very happy marriage, enjoy!

 

Mr. Trekker and I celebrated 15 years of marriage recently! Since we started dating early in our freshman year of college, we’ve been together more than half our lives!  I’m not sure we can remember what it’s like to NOT be a twosome! 😍

For a long time, we just hung out as friends, within our shared group of friends, and got to know each other casually.  Mr. Trekker and I were best friends first (in my opinion, that’s the way to go!)  At first, I didn’t even consider him as a potential romantic suitor (although if you ask him, I was always in his sights. 😊)  We just clicked in a way I never had with a guy before.  We became inseparable, best friends, almost instantaneously. 

One of the first times we hung out was a group trip to the local gas station. (Ok…we are OLD and we went to a SMALL school in the middle of podunk-nowhere Indiana, there wasn’t a lot to do there.  Most of us didn’t have cars.  We were also poor, college students, and this was before streaming tv–I didn’t even have a cell phone till AFTER I graduated college. 😮)

Due to these factors, a quasi-tradition at our school was a midnight, slurpy run to the nearby 7-11.  One of the nights, Mr. Trekker and I tagged along, individually, with a group of friends. When two friends, who were dating, started a round of piggyback rides, I casually mentioned, “I want a piggyback ride!”  Then I heard this deep voice emanating from this tall, lanky kid behind me, who I barely knew, “I’ll give you a piggyback ride…” That’s how it all began folks!  See guys, you can still sweep a lady off her feet, even in the 21st century! 😉

Now that we’ve been married for 15 years, I think it’s fair to give out a  few tips on how to make a marriage last…

1.  MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!

I cannot stress enough how important I think this is.  If I could give only one piece of advice on how to have a successful marriage, this would be it!

This will ultimately affect the way you relate to your spouse throughout the entire course of your relationship.  You will likely live through both the best and the worst moments of life with that person.  Why would you want it to be anyone other than your best friend?  I can’t imagine trying to navigate childrearing, sickness, family/household emergencies or any of the other stresses and difficulties that life will inevitably throw your way, with anyone other than your best friend!

Your best friend is the person who knows what you’re like at your worst, yet is still willing to put up with you. 😉  They will ultimately end up being one of your highest priorities anyway, so why wouldn’t you choose that person to marry?  Your spouse knows you more intimately than anyone else.  They know every one of your embarrassing, disgusting details (whether you want them to or not. 😛)  Why would you want anyone other than your best friend to have that kind of incriminating material on you? 😉

Your best friend is the person you have the most patience for, and the one you’ll do anything to fix a divide between.  Your marriage relationship should be this strong.  Your best friend should be the one you have chosen to be yoked to for life.  People have actually told us, “You guys just seem to actually LIKE each other”.  Um…yeah…we’re married!  Is this a common thing these days?  Do people choose marriage partners they DON’T like?! 🤔  

If your current spouse isn’t your best friend, figure out a way to change that.  Yes, it IS that important.  Find something the two of you enjoy doing together.  Find a way to bond.  I GUARANTEE you, without a shadow of a doubt, this will make your relationship better. 

If you’re engaged to someone who isn’t your best friend, don’t give up hope yet, but for the best chance of making your marriage succeed long-term, find a way to change this BEFORE the wedding.

The person you are “just dating” may not be your best friend…yet…but do they have that potential?  If not, rethink the relationship now before it gets more serious.

On the other hand, could the person who’s currently your best, platonic friend be a potential mate?  If that isn’t a practical option, figure out what qualities they have that draw you to them, and look for those qualities in potential mates (honesty, integrity, empathy, humor, drive, quirkiness…)

Two, old wedding rings with lace running through them
Two of my grandparents had died by the time we got married. Both were with their respective partners for almost 50 years! On our wedding day, I carried both of their wedding rings in my bouquet. I couldn’t think of a better way to bestow favor on our marriage.

2.  Play together!

Really!  Life is serious enough, have fun with the mate you’ve pledged your life to.  Goof around, pick on each other (good-naturedly of course).  Enjoy fun activities together!  Make each other laugh (they say it’s good for the soul!)  Tease, flirt, do fun, silly stuff with each other.  “Adulting” can get pretty dull, spice it up!  Got a day full of errands?  Find time for a quick ice cream or lunch date in the mix.  Go on walks together.  Get in food fights!

One of Mr. Trekker and my favorite memories from college is when we got in a food fight with buffalo wings from Dominoes…sauce got everywhere, it was epic!  His former roommate still doesn’t know that one of the wings ended up in his shoe (we cleaned it up! 😮🤫😇)

So play around and have fun with your mate…you know, like you would with your best friend… 😮

3.  Sex

Hehe…yeah, five years on and…NOPE, still not gonna talk about that subject!… 😲😋😘😉😇

4.  Pay attention to the little things

People tend to show you their true selves, in subtle ways.  Watch for clues for how your Intended will treat you years down the road.  You know, once the lovey-dovey, rose-colored glasses of dating life are removed and the ugly reality of spending the next 50-odd years with someone sets in. 🙃

These are things like, do they put the toilet seat down?  This is, admittedly, a bit trivial, but it can have serious implications for things to come.  Something like this is a small, simple sign that a person is considerate of and empathetic towards others.  That’s not a bad indication when considering someone as a potential, lifelong mate!  What’s the old saying, if you can trust them with the little things…(and yes, I noted early on that Mr. Trekker was very conscientious about putting the seat down!) 

5.  Say “I’m sorry”…OFTEN, and then…FORGIVE!

Whoever came up with the old adage “love means never having to say you’re sorry”…is an idiot. 😋  Seriously, that’s stupid!  We’re all human so we all make mistakes.  We’re also all intelligent enough to know when we were wrong.  So humble yourself, apologize when you’ve screwed up, and try to improve on your actions in the future.

For the spouse being apologized to…FORGIVE!!!  This is key when talking about a long-term relationship.  We all have times when we can be complete jerks.  We all lash out, from time to time.  Unfortunately, our spouses, by the very nature of how intimately we are connected, are most often the outlets for our frustrations. 

I don’t know why we seem to have this fault in our human nature that the person who is supposed to mean the most to us is also the one we default to treating the worst.  It’s probably because they are the one person we can truly let our guard down around…

If your best friend is a jerk to you, don’t you want to forgive them as quickly as possible to get back to your fulfilling relationship?  Be forgiving of your partner, we all have our bad days.  Remember, you chose them for a reason.  And the next time you are feeling cranky, remember how it felt to bear the brunt of that emotion from someone else, and maybe try to be as gentle as you can with them.

6.  PATIENCE!

This goes hand-in-hand with #5.  Because we are all human and therefore, all flawed, we’re going to screw up…A LOT.  Show patience towards your mate.  They are the one you dedicated your life to, they should be the one you grant the most patience to and are most tolerant of when they become frustrating…kind of like you would your best friend…🙃 (Yes, I’m going to keep harping on this point.  I TRULY believe it is THAT important). 

A cake topper with a male and female in hiking clothes/equipment and a flag with a picture of a dog
I’m sure it won’t surprise you that the Trekkers picked a hiking couple as their cake topper. 😁 And yes, since Doggo couldn’t be at the wedding, we included her on the cake!

7.  The “dreaded” in-laws 😱

I was fortunate to be blessed with pretty great in-laws (and I’m not just saying that because my mother-in-law reads this blog…REALLY! 😉)  Seriously though, I know family dynamics are complicated.  Not everyone is blessed with an extended family that’s easy to deal with.  HOWEVER, those family members played a large part in making the person you have chosen as a life-long mate into who they are today.

When you marry that person, you marry their family too.  Why not do everything within your power to make your relationships with those people as peaceful as possible?  If you don’t get along with them, don’t do it for them.  Do it for the person you have chosen to love, above anyone else.

8.  Show restraint with complaints…

Ok, before anyone yells at me, I am NOT saying you shouldn’t speak up if you’re feeling unhappy, or that your needs aren’t being met.  HOWEVER, I think there is a time, place, and manner in which to bring up grievances. 

The old clichés of, “it isn’t what you said, it’s the tone you used” and “you’ll attract more flies with honey than with vinegar”?  Yeah, those are actually true!  The best time to air your frustrations is probably not in the midst of your anger.  If you can hold your tongue just to the count of 10, or a few minutes, or maybe even a few days, the problem may be able to be resolved more quickly and/or with fewer feelings hurt. 

How do these things usually play out?  Someone says something in the heat of anger that may be true, but that isn’t very kind.  Then later, apologies are garnered and the situation is talked over and resolved calmly, right?  So, why not just skip the anger and drama, and jump right to the calm discussion?  I find I can usually express myself more effectively when I’ve had time to think about exactly what is upsetting me anyway.  Wouldn’t you strive to be gentle with your best friend when confronting them about something they do that upsets you?

9.  Don’t let life’s little hiccups ruin things

“Life is messy, sh*t happens, don’t sweat the small stuff.”  Living by these ideals will make life easier.  Eventually, things aren’t gonna work out as we planned.  We gotta buck up and deal with it, kids.  We gotta learn to “just groove“.  Besides, sometimes a minor disappointment, such as a rained-out picnic in the park, can lead to an even better result…like a Subway picnic on the floor of your dorm room. (Ask me how I know! 😇)

Speaking of rain, don’t be afraid of a little rain on your wedding day (…even if it is an outdoor wedding! 😮)  They claim it’s good luck!

I recently learned the supposed reasoning behind this and it’s kind of cool…When you get married it’s called “tying the knot” right?  Well, in the past, what material was often tied in knots…? Rope.  And what happens to rope when it gets wet…? It swells.  So, the idea is, that a “knot” tied on a rainy, wet day, will swell and be impossible to untie…ha! 😉 (In case you are wondering, yes, it was rainy and in the upper 40s the day of our OUTDOOR wedding, and it was wonderful!  It was nothing that a covered gazebo with a roaring fire in the stone fireplace couldn’t cure!)

10.  …and last but not least…

Did I mention you should marry your best friend? 😉 😇

These tips are just my personal opinion, of course.  You can decide if you take them to heart or not.  But I think it’s fair to say that long-term marriages aren’t a super common thing these days.  I believe in learning from the lessons of others.  So, I try to follow the models of other long-term couples (both for what TO and what NOT to do. 🙃)  These tips are things that work for us…

The Trekkers have big shoes to fill.  Both of our parents have been married more than 40 years, and most of our grandparents came close to (if not hit) the 50-year mark! 😮  I pray we are lucky enough to have–at least–that many years together!

Do you have any pieces of advice for a long and happy marriage?  Let me know in the comments!

 

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Can we be friendly towards those with different political opinions?

After reading the book “Travels with Charlie”, by John Steinbeck, I discuss how many aspects of US society, that Steinbeck noted in 1960, are still true today.

 

Author’s Note:  I want to be VERY clear that I am NOT endorsing ANY political view with this post.  The critiques I outline below apply to ALL of us.  I truly believe we can (and should) ALL do better. (Also, this comes from the perspective of an American speaking on how I see political views playing out in the US.  I can’t speak to how things work in other countries.)–Also, also, I originally wrote this post during the Trump/Hilary election in 2016 but I think it’s still relevant today!

A few years ago, I read Travels with Charlie, by John Steinbeck.  This is a great story to read if you’re on a road trip since that’s what the book is about. 😉  It is set in the fall of 1960, as Steinbeck and his faithful poodle, Charlie, set out to explore the country. (Steinbeck wanted to rediscover it before he died.)  I was struck by how many things he noted that seem to still be relevant today, almost 60 years–and a HUGE technology boom–later…sometimes the old adage is true, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Life isn’t simple anymore:

Steinbeck bemoaned the fact that people are always rushing around in the big cities and on interstate highways.  He felt like they didn’t have time for chatting or pleasantries, that there was no real contact between them anymore.  He felt like everyone just kept to themselves and in their own little world…

Imagine what he’d think of today’s world, where everyone is too preoccupied with their noses in their phones, or their earbuds entertaining them, to pay any attention to the world around them. 😮

Steinbeck thought everything was too mechanized, that there was too much technology in his modern world.  He believed this made life too easy which gave people too much free time that they then filled with worry…

Things like mobile phones, the internet, and computer-driven machines hadn’t even entered popular culture yet.  What would his opinion be of today’s Brave New World?  He thinks things are bad in 1960, wait till he gets a load of the “always-on” society of the new Millenium! 😋  Does his theory help to explain why so many people suffer from anxiety in our modern world?  Do we have such–relatively– easy lives, and consequently so much free time on our hands, that we have lengthy periods to “think” ourselves into an unnecessary panic?

Steinbeck felt regional cultures around the country were becoming too homogenized.  That local dialects and customs weren’t as noticeable as he remembered from his childhood, he felt like they were all becoming too mixed and similar.  He believed this was due to people moving all over the country and living in different places from where they grew up…

You have to wonder, if this was true way back then, how much worse is it now when people regularly move all around the world?  On the other hand, does some good come from this?  When we travel and move to places that push us out of our comfort zone, we are exposed to new ideas and cultures.  I think that makes us more tolerant of and more educated about other viewpoints.  Wouldn’t this experience then help to enrich our lives?

People are afraid to be honest with each other…

Steinbeck felt like there weren’t enough people, at that time, who would stand up for what they believed in.  He mentioned how people didn’t want to talk about politics with their friends, families, or close confidants anymore.  He lamented the division that he saw in the country…

It is interesting to think that, on the eve of one of the most turbulent decades in modern US history, he could feel like people wouldn’t stand up for what they believed in.  The ’60s ended up being full of protests and people doing exactly what Steinbeck wanted to see more of, marching for what they felt to be just. 

What would he say about the political situation in our country today?  Plenty of people march and advocate for their rights, but others are afraid to speak up for fear of public shaming.  I personally know people who won’t be open and honest with their closest friend or family member regarding who they plan to vote for in the next election because they’re afraid of negatively impacting that relationship.  To me, this is a sad commentary on the state of our nation, that we can’t have differing opinions yet still respect each other. 

A House Divided Cannot Stand

Steinbeck talked about fighting with his Republican sisters (he was a self-professed Democrat) when he visited them, in his hometown, in California.  They would call him a Communist for his liberal views and he would compare them to oppressive tyrants like Genghis Khan because of their conservative opinions…

Sound familiar?  Things DEFINITELY haven’t changed on this front!  I think it’s sad how you see so much of this today.  In the US, Republican talking heads call Progressives “mentally ill” or “crazy”.  In contrast, Progressive talking heads refer to anyone who doesn’t agree with them as “bigoted” or the ever-popular  “Nazi”.  I know it isn’t just here in the States either.  I’m not super familiar with the politics of other countries, but I’ve read enough to know there are similar debates in those places, as well.

Why do we treat each other this way?  I don’t understand what we can possibly hope to achieve with it.  Is the majority of “the other side” really that bad?  I don’t think so.  Especially when those people consist of our friends, neighbors, and family members, who we otherwise love and respect. 

I think our differences come less from one side being “right” or “wrong” and more from the fact that we misunderstand each others’ perspectives.  I also believe that people on both sides of any given issue are often ignorant (intentionally or otherwise) of the plight that others face.  I read once that “you should never criticize someone else’s views unless you can explain them.  Because, if you can’t explain them, you don’t actually understand them”.  I think this is incredibly apt.  I believe we need to stay humble and realize we may not always be as “right” as we think we are. 

In the book, Steinbeck mentions a reporter who was beaten and his camera smashed for covering certain demonstrations that were occurring.  He states that the few, screaming people who were acting badly will be on tv and will end up representing that entire area or group.  Unfortunately,  no one will know about the many, good people from that same region or social category who just want to go about their daily lives.  He describes the media in his day as, “…all the polls and opinion posts, with newspapers more opinion than news so that we no longer know one from the other”…

WOW!  He could literally be writing about almost any newspaper or cable TV, news outlet in the country today!  It amazes me, with all the time that has passed and the many changes our society has gone through, how similar Steinbeck’s world was to our own. 

It’s interesting, but it’s sad in a way too.  You get the impression that not much has changed.  In some ways, it may have gotten worse with the rise of social media and the reach of the Internet.  You also get the impression we haven’t learned much in the last six decades.  Will things change much in the next six?  I’m not sure I hold out much hope…   

Can people of different political views be friendly toward each other?

Why do we fight so much and treat each other so badly?  I just don’t understand it.  Why does it always have to be “us” vs. “them”?  Why, if someone disagrees with us, do we automatically have to see them in a bad light?  Why can’t we each just have different views and opinions?

I have friends and family members that were raised in VERY similar situations as myself and with VERY similar values, yet we’re on completely opposite sides of the political spectrum.  We may agree there is a problem, but have opposing viewpoints on how to solve that problem.  Yet, for both of us, the desire to see the problem solved comes from a place of love and caring for–and wanting to help–our fellow man. 

Why can’t we use that as a cornerstone to build on, rather than calling each other names and finding ways to divide ourselves, when our values and beliefs are often similar?  We all have to live on this big, blue ball together.  Can’t we figure out a way to work with each other?

To Conclude

Steinbeck died in 1968, however, the politically charged climate that he saw wasn’t much different than the one we face these days.  I wonder what he would say about our modern world, and if he’d ask, “can’t we all just get along?”

So I challenge you, dear readers, to try to understand where someone from an opposing political viewpoint is coming from.  I’m not asking you to change your stance on any issue but if your question is, “how could anyone believe that?” I encourage you to look more closely at their viewpoint.  Honestly ask someone that holds that view to explain why they feel the way they do and then try to listen and understand with an open mind, an open heart, and without judgment.

I think if we take the approach that most people are good inside, even if they hold very different beliefs than we do, and we give them this benefit of the doubt, it would go a long way to making this world a better place for all of us. 

How do you keep the peace between friends and family with opposing political viewpoints?  Tell me about it in the comments!

 

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A Day in the Life of a Freelancer

In this post, I detail what I learned from my experience working as a freelancer.

 

Author’s Note: I wrote this article several years ago when I was working as a Freelancer, writing grants, online articles, and doing some consulting. Unfortunately, COVID brought that opportunity to a grinding halt (though I now have a more typical “9 to 5 job” I’m still blessed that it’s very flexible and it allows me to frequently work from home.) I thought people may still find my Freelance experience interesting though and I do hope to return to this type of work someday. 

I cannot express how thankful I was that I was able to seize this opportunity.  My thanks especially go out to my amazing hubby, as without him this wouldn’t have been possible (both emotionally and financially).  A word of warning, this type of work is not all roses and sunshine.  It’s hard work, there isn’t a lot of job security and it requires a large amount of personal discipline.  But the freedom it gave me to live my life as I chose made it all worth it!

Can you freelance in most professions?

Freelance work covers a wide range of industries.  It can be anything from online writing, web design, or consulting to an artist who is contracted for work or a person selling beauty products or supplements on the side.

A freelancer could be a stay-at-home parent who babysits other people’s children in addition to their own, jobs like Uber, or a dog walker.  Basically, it is any service contracted between you and another party, for any type of payment.

Payment may not even be financial in nature.  While I firmly believe no one should work for “free”, it isn’t unusual to do at least some freelance work for no financial compensation.  Instead, “payment” could include experience earned, connections made, or even just the hope of future dividends paid.  I got started as a volunteer and this eventually morphed into a paid opportunity.  

Freelancing can be a physical job based on a hand-shake with a real human, or a gig in the new, online workforce where you may never meet or even see your client face-to-face.  Literally ANYONE can do this!

Is freelancing a “real” job?

The answer is a resounding YES! (and it can be TOUGH!)  Freelancing often gets a bad rap.  It’s become more and more accepted and normal in the past few years (especially during COVID), and trends suggest this will only continue into the future.

But many people (and even some businesses and potential employers) treat it with condescension.  They think all we freelancers do is sit on the porch all day, sipping on lemonade while we type on our laptops.

To be fair, there is a little truth to this idea (says the woman who is currently typing on her laptop while sitting on the porch. 😇) 

But many don’t realize the effort that goes into freelancing…

A freelance job is stressful

I didn’t fully appreciate just how stressful freelancing would be when I first started.  There are things they don’t tell you about this “dream job”.  For one, you literally don’t get paid unless you’re actively working.  That may seem silly to say, but you don’t realize just how tiring a day of work can be until you don’t make a dime unless the project is delivered and completed, to the client’s liking.  Whether it takes you two hours or two days to complete the project, the payment is the same.  Even if you bill a client on an hourly basis, you have to justify every minute of that hour. 

At a typical hourly (or even salaried) job, you get paid for those breaks you take to run to the coffee machine, or the bathroom, or to stop by a coworker’s desk to discuss a project (and end up shooting the breeze for the next 20 minutes).  As a freelancer, you don’t, you literally have to work for every…single…cent you make.  It’s a wonderful, flexible, exhilarating, rewarding experience, but it’s also tiring.  I can honestly say I felt more tired at the end of the day, working part-time from home as a freelancer, than I almost ever have working a normal, 9 – 5, hourly job. 

There is a lack of job security with freelance work

There is also the financial strain of fluctuating, irregular income, and extreme job uncertainty with freelance work.  While no job is “guaranteed”, people with long-term employment are usually pretty comfortable that their job will still be there next week or next month.  With freelancing, there is virtually no job security.  There are some contracted positions, but those are usually only “guaranteed” until the current project is complete (and as we all learned with COVID you can be laid off at any time, with little to no warning.)  Most freelancers are continuously seeking out new work.

Freelancers work an irregular schedule

You can spend days or weeks with almost no work, and then a big project will crop up with little notice (which is wonderful, for the money and experience, but it can cause a lot of sudden stress and really throw off a family routine). 

Please understand I don’t intend any of these statements as complaints.  I LOVED working as a freelancer and hope to return to it someday.  I am VERY aware of just how fortunate I was to even be allowed this opportunity.  I just want people to understand that just like any job, working for yourself has its challenges, as well.

Freelancer pearls of wisdom

I learned a lot through my freelancer experience, and I know a lot of freelancers who are striving to make their “side-hustles” work, so I thought I’d pass on a few pearls of wisdom:

–Freelance work is INCREDIBLY rewarding.  This was one of the only jobs where  I actually felt like I EARNED every single dime I made (don’t tell any of my “real” bosses I said that! 😛)  That felt REALLY GOOD!

It was ironic, I made less working as a freelancer than I had in more than a decade, but I felt more proud of the work I did and the income I received.  It reminded me of when I first started working in high school.  Even though the checks weren’t large, I knew I busted my butt for every single dime I received (of course, then Uncle Sam comes in and takes his share…😤)

–I find online freelance work can be surreal.  It IS work, it takes time, planning, and mental energy.  But it doesn’t FEEL “real”.  Depending on the type of work you do, tt may not be unusual to only communicate with clients via email or online messaging.  You may never hear their actual voice, or even know what they look like!  Then there’s also the fact that your work is magically sent into the ether that is the World Wide Web, and then, a while later, if the client is pleased, money magically appears in your bank account. 😮

I’ve gotten several jobs through Upwork, a freelance matching service.  There are several platforms like this out there that allow freelancers to connect with potential clients around the world.  I’ve worked with companies as far away as Seattle.  Living in western South Dakota, just a few, short years ago it would have been hard to even connect with a place like this.

–I am still somewhat amazed that you can actually make a decent income, literally working from your backyard.  I have learned that there are actually legitimate companies out there that will pay you a decent wage to work from home.  It takes a little luck to get established and to find some of the connections, but once you get over that hurdle, depending on the time you have available, your internet connectivity, your skillset, and your determination, you can make a decent career for yourself as a freelancer.

–I liked being able to pick and choose what companies I wanted to work with and what projects I wanted to work on.  Obviously, if I was picky, that meant less money in my pocket.  But it enriches your work life when you don’t have a boss forcing you to work on a project you aren’t interested in or being forced to work with a company you don’t respect.

–I had to learn about things like quarterly tax payments to the state, and “estimated tax” to the Federal government.  Ugh, every time I had to deal with the bureaucracy involved with these my Libertarian heart grew a little larger (and I say that as a former State employee living in a business-tax-friendly state! 🤑)

–Then there’s the constant bane of my existence, the one act of blogging that makes me want to rip my hair out and throw the–not inexpensive–laptop across the room…the dreaded coding. 🤮  I HATE coding!  I’m learning to do it, though I’m still an extreme novice, but I HATE it.  I know, this is an unpopular opinion, and I probably just made a bunch of “Women-in-STEM” advocates cringe, 😉 but I can’t help it.  I HATE it! 😋

I find coding is a tedious process.  The more I understand, the more I can use it, but it just doesn’t spark my interest.  A lot of people really enjoy it, and I can kind of understand why.  It is like a puzzle that needs to be solved (kind of like math, which I also HATE! 😉) 

But for me, the time spent trying to figure out why that stupid heading INSISTS on remaining in the middle of the page just feels like a waste of time.  It’s probably mostly that the blog isn’t making much income at this time.  That’s ok, that’s how these things work and I understand that.  The hope is that it will pay dividends in the future.  But I think the stress of spending hours fighting the code would be much easier to handle if a hefty salary came along with it. 😛

Goals I was able to achieve in my attempt at freelancing:

      • I’ve was able to develop a decent portfolio of online travel writing that served me well in long-standing jobs
      • My grant writing career didn’t progress like I hoped it would. COVID, and the resulting economic decline saw to that. I did find  I could only focus on a few projects at once, so having one or two clients I could place all my focus on was much better than having to divide that focus out among numerous agencies.I originally started by providing volunteer services.  I learned A LOT during those years, and am happy to say that knowledge paid off as several grants I submitted were approved for funding.  It’s incredibly satisfying to be able to help local, non-profit agencies that I care about and can see literally helping people in my own community, to be able to continue to provide those necessary services.
      • For a short time, I was able to work as a consultant for a local agency and was able to pull from several previous jobs to succeed in that position.
      • Regarding the blog, I have learned SO MUCH regarding marketing, social media, and coding and I’ve even begun to master the much-dreaded SEO. 😮   Don’t let anybody kid you, maintaining a blog can be a full-time job in itself.  But I’m excited to say I’m finally starting to see some success and growth!

You won’t find a more flexible, family-friendly work environment than that of a freelancer.  But, there’s also the stress that comes from uncertain job security and the financial strain that’s caused when you move away from a steady, full-time income (and benefits).  This is made far easier for anyone who can lean on a partner or spouse for financial support or things like health insurance, but not everyone is in that position, which makes freelancing even more difficult.

To Conclude

Many people pursue freelancing on a part-time basis as the ever-popular “side hustle“.  This is a GREAT way to get started, it’s also far smarter and more secure financially.  But it poses problems of its own…

We’re all busy, trying to carve out time in our days around work, house chores, dealing with kids and/or elderly parents, or working around busy family schedules.  Finding time to fit in an additional job, especially one where you may not make much money for the first several years, can feel like an insurmountable obstacle.

I pursued this endeavor under the best of circumstances (I was financially able to lean on a partner for support and we don’t have kids), and I STILL felt the stress and eventually failed at my endeavor (at least for now. 😉)  I can’t imagine how people who deal with additional stressors manage.  So to all the other freelancers out there, trying to make it as a pioneer in this new, gig economy, my hats off to you!

Have you done freelance work?  What have you learned?  Are you interested in becoming a freelancer?  What additional questions do you have?  Let me know in the comments!

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Ode to an Old Friend

In this post, I remember the life of a wonderful dog!

 

After 12 wonderful years, we finally had to say goodbye to our family dog.  We aren’t sure exactly how old she was.  We adopted her as a young adult in 2007 so…she was at least 13 and could have been closer to 15, just based on the information we were given at the time of adoption.  This sweet, spoiled canine led a good, long life!

Allow yourself to feel grief

Sometimes “adulting” is hard.  I’ve spoken before about how we don’t like to experience any pain in the modern world if we can avoid it (and frequently we can).  There’s usually a pill that will at least help to dull the ache.  Pain is never completely avoidable in life, though.  One of those unavoidable heartaches is the loss of close friends (be they human or animal).  Grief sucks…and it HURTS!

We must keep in mind though, that this feeling of loss we are forced to experience from time to time is actually a sign of a good life.  That pain means you had something to love, something that added joy to your life, to begin with.  We should consider ourselves blessed if we have things in our lives that hurt so much to lose.

The Trekkers have been preparing for this eventuality for quite a while.  For the last several years, we’ve watched our dear friend, slow, lose her hearing, and the ability to fully enjoy many activities she used to delight in.  The dog who once–with enthusiasm–drug our butts all the way up and down the 6,683-foot Mt. Mitchell, in North Carolina, became a greying friend who could barely make it around the block. 

Our furry friend led an enjoyable life.  Since 2007 she’s accompanied us on countless hiking and camping adventures, traveled with us to both Indiana and New England to spend holidays with our families, and relocated more than 1700 miles across the country with us when we moved from North Carolina to the Black Hills of South Dakota. (She glared at me from the back seat of my Civic through every mile of that trip 😂!  This is a dog who used to get carsick after less than 15 minutes in a car, which made things interesting those first few years. 😛)

We adopted her from the Wake County Humane Society in Raleigh, North Carolina.  For anyone living in the area, this is an amazing place.  They provide an incredibly comprehensive survey to help match you with your ideal pet, and they provide support services after adoption (such as behavior counseling) if needed.

Happier memories of times past:
Black and tan dog lays on the back cushions of a sofa
She LOVED to sleep on the back of that couch (it did not survive her)! 😂
(View from the rear) Dog walks in front of a woman down a trail in the woods
Dragging Mommy down the trail…
(View from the rear) Dog walks down a snowy trail in front of a man
Dragging Daddy through the snow…
Black and tan hound dog stands on a rock in the forest
She loved getting outdoors!

Black and tan dog panting while standing in the forest

In case it isn’t obvious from the pictures, this pup was spoiled rotten.  😉

We received her terminal diagnosis several months before she died, so we were very blessed to get to spend so much extra time with her.  She ended up outliving the vet’s prognosis by several months!  We were so happy that she hung on long enough to be able to enjoy laying in the sun and rolling in the soft, green grass of spring again.

I have to say a huge, “thank you!” to the staff at Dakota Hills Veterinary Clinic as well.  They took such good care of our friend for the last eight years, she actually enjoyed going there.  On her last day on earth, she happily walked in the front doors, excited to see the friends she had made there.  The staff made a difficult and painful experience as easy as possible to bear. 

We were fortunate to have more than 12 long years with our friend, and I like to think she was pretty happy with her human pack members as well.   

We should all strive to live life like a hound dog!

Black and tan dog lays on green grass with a tennis ball in her mouth Black and tan dog rolls on her side in the grass and snow

Black and tan dog rolls on her side in the grass and snow

Black and tan dog rolls on her side in the grass and snow

Black and tan dog lays upside down in the grass

Goodbye old friend, you are missed but you will never be forgotten…

Black and tan dog lays in the bright, green grass

 

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