In my early 40s, I had major abdominal surgery, a full hysterectomy to be exact. Due to large fibroids, an ovarian cyst, and a uterus that measured close to an almost full-term fetus (2900 grams! 😮), they took all my inner “girl parts” save one ovary.
We were fortunate in that I had been aware of the problem for several years and knew surgery was likely coming. Also, almost from the beginning, all the doctors were quite confident there was no cancer so that made the whole experience less terrifying.
It sure was a learning experience though!
Read on for some tips on how I learned to use mindfulness when life is chaotic.
Being humbled by your body’s limitations
One thing that was hard to get used to while I was recovering from surgery was that my body didn’t work right. You literally, CAN’T do things. The doctor puts you on limitations such as:
–Don’t lift over 10 pounds
–You can’t stretch/reach/bend over to grab things
–You can’t walk the dog, pick up your kid, etc.
–It hurts to do even the most mundane of daily activities such as: sleep on your side; get in or out of bed or a chair; sit up straight at a table; get off the toilet, etc.
The best thing you can do in these situations is be kind to yourself and accepting of your limitations. You will only cause problems if you push yourself too much. See this as a doctor’s prescription to take a break!
Uncertainty and lack of control
One surprising thing I learned through my experience is that having control over one’s own body is largely a privilege of good health and elective procedures. The minute something serious occurs, most of your ability to control your own body pretty much goes out the window:
–I didn’t CHOOSE to have problems with my reproductive system–while it “may” have been related to decades of choosing to take hormonal birth control, they honestly don’t know what causes these issues. So this isn’t a “you smoked and got lung cancer” type of situation.
–While there are numerous options for hysterectomy surgery these days ranging from minimally invasive, robotic procedures to incredibly invasive, full-cut methods, I really had no choice in the matter. Due to some logistical issues, I ended up working with two specialty surgeons at two different health systems. Both told me in no uncertain terms, “You WILL have a long, vertical cut, period.”–I ended up with a 9-inch+, vertical incision down the midline of my belly, starting above my belly button! That was fun! 🤕
These surgeons were both the best of the best mind you, with access to the most advanced robotic equipment available. I actually worked with oncologists (cancer surgeons)–even though they were very confident I didn’t have cancer–because my surgery was going to be more complicated/risky due to the size of my uterus. These types of surgeons are the absolute, most skilled in their field. Literally all these doctors do is surgery, often on complex, potentially life-threatening situations. They aren’t trying to fit you in between delivering babies and doing emergency C-sections!
My uterus was so large there wasn’t much room for the surgeon in my abdominal cavity. This increases the risk that other organs can be nicked/damaged during the procedure with obvious negative, potentially long-term consequences. Fortunately, I suffered no long-term side effects–thank the Good Lord Above and my incredibly skilled surgeon! I feel very blessed that I had access to these medical professionals!
—They aren’t kidding about the 6 – 8 week recovery time! For people who are lucky enough to be able to have the less-invasive options, your recovery time may vary. But, when your belly is held together by 40+ staples, you’re gonna need AT LEAST 6 weeks of recovery. At 8 weeks out I still had some soreness and was only back to about 90%–and I had a pretty easy recovery, all things considered.
I’m very fortunate that I can do A LOT of my job from home, from the couch, while wearing pjs and when I feel like it–read: I can take naps just about whenever I want. 😂 Due to this, I was actually able to slowly start returning to work after only about 10 days. HOWEVER, if you’ve got a physical job, or one with lengthy hours/lots of lifting, you will likely need to be off work for at LEAST 6 weeks after this type of surgery!
—EXHAUSTION! They aren’t kidding when they say you’ll be tired after major surgery either. I am a high-energy person who doesn’t usually sleep much. I average about six hours/night of sleep and my body LIKES it that way! When I occasionally take naps they are rarely over 30 minutes and even then I have to be careful they aren’t too late in the day or too long or I may not sleep that night.
After surgery though, I’d be fine for a while, and then I’d get hit with such strong fatigue it was all I could do to keep my eyes open! I took two-hour naps! That is UNHEARD of for me! I was so out of it I didn’t leave the house for a week–normally that would feel unbearable due to getting stir-crazy, I almost didn’t even notice it after surgery.
—I felt like I lost time. I had surgery middle of January. From then until early March, I almost felt like time didn’t pass right. I was pretty out of it the first two weeks or so due to sleeping a lot and being on the “good” meds. But even after I was more awake and aware, it would feel like time was passing and I almost didn’t even notice. I truly don’t know where the winter went!
It didn’t help that it was an El Niño winter which meant it was almost non-existent in the Black Hills. I was in the hospital and on HEAVY pain meds for our short, below-zero cold snap–poor Mr. Trekker got to trek back and forth from the hospital in that!–though the bathroom in my hospital room was on an outside wall and was FREEZING! (I had a nice, window view though!)
When we’re in these situations there isn’t much we can do but accept our circumstances and hang on for the ride. We don’t have to like it, but so much of life is just dealing with things that happen to us that are out of our control.
Weird stuff happens to you in the hospital!
This whole process was a weird, learning experience!
–It still kinda freaks me out that this guy I only met for about 45 minutes, the day before surgery, literally had his hands deeply inside my abdomen…he did a great job but that is WEIRD to think about! 😯
—I have never had so many random people ask about my pooping schedule. 😝 Apparently, when you are put under anesthesia, it tends to “paralyze” your bowels temporarily. Due to this, it isn’t unusual to become quite constipated for a few days after surgery. They give you meds for this, but they also watch you carefully to see if you “are gassy” and “have good bowel sounds”. These are good signs that your bowels are waking up on their own, and no further medical action is needed. So for three days after surgery, every time a medical person walked into my hospital room, one of the first things they asked me was, “Did you poop today?” 🙄 *sigh*
—A creepy lady watched me on the TV! (No, really, this was not a hallucination brought on by the meds! 😯) The hospital I was in was starting to implement these “virtual supports”. Basically, after getting into my room after surgery, and then after a round of meds from my real nurse, I’d be happily sitting in the room relaxing. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, the TV would freak out and this headless voice would start emanating from the ceiling–this is especially weird when your senses are already dulled by some pretty strong pain meds. 🤯
Basically, another nurse, in some other part of the hospital, would just pop up on the tv to talk to me and check to make sure my meds were working, see if I needed anything else, etc. It was never clear to me if she could see me or just hear me (I could see her on the TV screen.) But there was never any warning this was coming and I really didn’t have any way to refuse her. I’m not sure what would have happened if I had been changing clothes or using the bathroom when she called. 😊
Frustration with medical staff/billing:
Author’s note: I should note that I’m coming from the perspective of the American health system and as someone who is blessed to have good health insurance.
I was fortunate in many ways but I got an up-close view that is the racket of the American medical system!
—Bills start coming, and then keep coming, for random things…for the next several months! First, you get a bill for the doctor at the hospital, then you get a separate bill from the anesthesiologist’s organization. Then you get bills for things like “professional services” that total thousands of dollars! (I don’t even know what that means, “professional service” is literally all they told me!) I even got a bill for some random person doing something office-related. It literally said something like, “John, office misc.”–note, John was not the real name. 😉 But what did “John” do, make a copy of something?! 😝 (Insurance covered their portion so I’m assuming everything was legit, but it would be nice if they were more transparent.)
—I was a little frustrated by the lack of info from the medical staff. They answered all the questions I had–the trouble was I didn’t really know what questions to ask! They also told me everything I “needed” to know regarding the procedure, recovery, how many days in the hospital, etc. But they weren’t helpful at all in giving info such as “things you may want to have at home for recovery”.
Note: you want a reacher and a high toilet. If you don’t have a high toilet you can get a special toilet seat at Walmart–and other places–that has handles and raises the toilet seat up by several inches. This can be INCREDIBLY helpful after any major surgery!
—I also learned it can be helpful to have a fairly serious condition. One of the doctors said she’s had experience with my insurance company where they denied the procedure until further, more detailed info can be provided. They approved mine quite easily! 😂 (She said I had a VERY GOOD reason for a hysterectomy though. 😝)
That all being said, despite my minimal frustrations, I feel the need to put a shout-out to the US healthcare system. It is in no way perfect, but if you have decent insurance, I truly believe it’s one of the best available overall.
I heard absolute HORROR stories from people in other countries (England, Australia, Canada, etc.) who had to wait months if not YEARS for surgery, oftentimes suffering from severe pain and bleeding the entire time–and then they may only get a week or two notice to prepare! (Also, in many of those cases, second opinions are almost unheard of and you’re stuck with whatever doctor you get, whether you are comfortable with them or not. 😪)
I went from my initial appointment to Surgery Day (while navigating two separate health systems and multiple doctors) in less than two-and-a-half MONTHS! If I hadn’t had logistical issues with the first doctor (and some personal preference regarding scheduling surgery) that time frame could have been even shorter!
—Scars can be cool! I thought I would be HORRIFIED by my scar. It turns out, I’m rather proud of that battle wound! I survived one of the worst, hysterectomy procedures they do with flying colors! I never thought I’d be one of those people who wants to show off my scar but I get it now. I EARNED that, literally with my own blood (and the removal of five organs! 😂)
–I also have to give a shoutout to Avera Medical Group in Sioux Falls, South Dakota!
They were a bit annoying to schedule with–they didn’t seem to quite get I was driving from the other side of the state, five hours away, across a frozen tundra, in JANUARY! 😝
But once I was there the facilities and care were top-notch! My awesome surgeon was like a big teddy bear–I felt very safe and secure with him and his staff (and he did a GREAT job!) The facility was very nice (though the food could’ve been better), but they had private rooms (with windows!) for every patient!–I had a very, cheery view of some Christmas lights from a house across the street!
I especially appreciated the chaplain and several members of my surgery team praying with us beforehand. I don’t know if this is common practice everywhere but Avera is a Catholic hospital. This service was offered to me (not required) and I eagerly accepted it. It gave me a lot of comfort moments before going in for a pretty scary procedure! It felt good knowing that some of the people being blessed by the prayer were the very people who would have my life in their hands a few minutes later!
From the initial appointment, I had no doubt I was in good hands! I think that was another mindful moment for me throughout this whole process. I usually like to handle everything myself, but in this case, I just had to trust the experts and let go…
Be present, seize the moment, and embrace your downtime!
When you’re in those situations where your body FORCES you to slow down, it’s best to just embrace it and give yourself permission to “do life” at a slower pace for a while!
–Take lots of naps!
—Do the “slow” activities you never find time for: journaling, art projects, puzzles, play games, watch terrible movies you fully enjoy! 😁
–Take the time to step back and relax
—Take it easy and slow! LISTEN to your body! It WILL tell you what you should and shouldn’t do…and if you do something naughty, it WILL punish you for it. 🤭
—Enjoy the simple things! While still in the Recovery room (and after not eating for close to 15 hours) they let me eat orange jello…I have never tasted anything so DELICIOUS in my life! (The broth they gave me was pretty good too!) Then on the third morning, when they finally let me have buttered toast after two days of being on a liquid diet, I thought I had died and gone to heaven! 😂 😁
In Conclusion:
So far, recovery and post-surgery have gone well. My remaining ovary seems to be picking up the slack with no menopause symptoms yet (though I “may” go through that fun, change of life a few years earlier due to this procedure.)
Overall, given the circumstances, I think it was the most positive experience it could have been!
So…ya wanna see my scar? 😉
Have you found Mindfulness helped you get through a difficult time in your life? Tell me about your experience in the comments!
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Wow! I am that person! But why don’t I feel like it?
Don’t get me wrong, that is a far better response than the alternative could be, but still…
