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My Lenten Fast

In this post, I review my Lenten Fast that I endeavor to complete each year.

The Halloween candy, the Thanksgiving turkey, the Christmas cookies, and the Valentine’s chocolate have all been eaten and enjoyed. Now it is time to move away from the “eating” portion of the year and move on to the “fasting” portion! 😂 Today is Ash Wednesday, the Easter Season is upon us again! To commemorate this time of year I embark on my annual, Lenten Fast.

What is Lent?

Lent is the 40-day period in the Christian religion that leads up to Easter, starting on Ash Wednesday. The whole point of it is to symbolically recognize the sacrifice Jesus made when He wandered the desert for 40 days and was tempted by the Devil, before His crucifixion.

The date that Ash Wednesday occurs changes every year based on the date of Easter (which also changes every year). My understanding is, Easter always falls the first Sunday…after the first full moon…after the Spring Equinox…and is also related to when Passover occurs. Passover is a holiday from the Jewish faith that isn’t usually celebrated by Christians, but the Christian religion has its roots in Judaism so some of the traditions still share similarities. (Does this make anyone else’s brain hurt? This is why I’m a nature girl and not a religious scholar. 😉)

Why do people fast for Lent?

During Lent, many Christians choose to “fast” from something. I grew up Lutheran, which, for those who may not know, is kind of like Catholic, we just don’t have quite the same dedication. 😉😉

Many people who follow my religious tradition choose to give up something for Lent. Usually, this is some type of favorite food, but it could also be a toy, a game, or an activity you enjoy, such as social media or video games. It really doesn’t matter what you give up, the point is that you sacrifice something.

The Catholic faith outlines more of a regimented Fast, whereas Christians of other denominations tend to just give up something they are sure to miss as a personal sacrifice. I am not aware that any of the denominations in the Protestant faith require a Lenten Fast, it is solely based on personal choice.

Previous Lenten Fasts

I didn’t start participating in a Lenten Fast until I was in high school and I’ll admit it, I failed miserably at my first few attempts. Six weeks is a long time to give up things you really enjoy! But in the last several years I’ve been able to stick with my Fast fairly well.

In the past, I’ve given up sweets (i.e. donuts, cookies, candy, ice cream, basically anything that could be construed as a dessert). The caveat to this is my birthday which “almost” always falls during Lent. So, God and I have an ongoing agreement that birthday treats are exempted from consideration. 😁 (It’s not my fault that this is when I was born! 😉)–Some years my birthday doesn’t fall during Lent…it falls on Fat Tuesday** instead. 😝

**Because Lent always begins on Ash Wednesday, the Tuesday directly preceding it is known as “Fat Tuesday” as you “get fat” gorging on the foods you won’t be enjoying for the next six weeks. 😁 (Fat Tuesday factors into Mardi Gras celebrations, as well.)

What am I giving up for Lent this year?

A few years ago I outlined my long journey of trying out a low-carb lifestyle over Lent. As we learned then, I am apparently the only person in all of humanity who doesn’t benefit from this diet. 😝 Spoiler Alert! It actually made me utterly MISERABLE and literally left me depressed (and I do NOT use that term lightly).

This year I will be following a similar Fast as I have the last several years, which basically consists of refraining from “junk food”. What will that look like? For many years I gave up sweets-only for Lent (cookies, candy, etc.). In past years, I have also given up cheese, gum, and soda. With this newer Fast, I give up anything I consider to be junk food. That includes everything listed above as well as fast food, chips, really greasy pizza, fried foods, etc.

A couple of years ago Mr. Trekker’s doctor put him on a low-salt diet called the DASH diet (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension). Since I do most of the cooking and I figure it’s good for me too, we’ve implemented these low-salt changes permanently. If you’re interested in this diet and are looking for recipe ideas, check out this cookbook. I’ve found many useful recipes in it!

Related posts: Easter Ends the Lenten Fast!; More Yummy Low-Carb Foods; Yummy Low Carb Foods; Yummy Keto-friendly recipes!; Final Thoughts on Low-Carb Lent; A Sustainable Low-carb Lifestyle; Wired to Eat (A Book Review)

Water Challenge to Lose Weight?

This year I’m also going to try to implement a “water challenge” into my Lenten fast. The basic idea is that you should drink half your body weight in ounces of water each day. (So if you weigh 180 pounds, you drink 90 oz of water each day.)

I’m very curious to see how this works. In college, I participated in this study where we drank a lot of water for a week or so and I remember being hungry ALL THE TIME! (Drinking a lot of water is supposed to “jump start” your metabolism.). They claim it helps you lose weight too so…we’ll see!

What I hope to get out of my Lenten Fast

As always, I am hoping to lose a little weight from the Fast (that is always a welcome–if not somewhat selfish–side effect of the Lenten Fast for me 😇). Also, I’m still trying to beat that soda addiction by giving it up for 6 weeks. I LOVE soda, I could drink it all day, EVERY day (and we’re talking the full-sugar stuff here. I’ve never liked the taste of diet soda and my IBS doesn’t tolerate it anyway). I don’t allow myself to drink a lot of it, but it’s always been a guilty pleasure of mine (and yes, I know it isn’t good for me, clearly that isn’t enough motivation to get me to stop drinking it 😝).

I have been doing better with my soda addiction in recent years, now that I’ve discovered sparkling water. Side note: I am SO glad this type of stuff is easily available again! Do ya’ll remember “Clearly Canadian”? I used to LOVE that stuff when I was a kid! Am I dating myself? 😳😝

I find I usually need SOMETHING fun to drink during the day to look forward to. I drink a lot of water, as well, but I need something else. Fortunately, a few years ago, I discovered fruity, green tea. I’m not a big fan of it hot, but I LOVE it ice cold. I can even take it sans sweetener (though I’ve got a soft spot for the green tea frappuccinos at Starbucks, and there is NOTHING “low-sugar” about those! I don’t know what it is, there’s no love lost between my palate and “green”-tasting veggies, but a drink that tastes like sweet, grass? I LOVE it! 😜 Go figure.)

Other than slightly stained teeth and a few stained dishes, I’m not aware of ANY negative consequences for drinking green tea (especially assuming you take it without a sweetener). That’s one of those few items that you really can’t drink too much of.

A Lenten Fast should be an adventure!

I’m always excited about the challenge a Lenten Fast brings. It is a struggle, as it is supposed to be. They don’t call it a “Fast” for nothing! 😉 But it should also be an adventure, a time to try out something new during a time frame that isn’t that long anyway. 😁

Do you participate in a Lenten Fast? If so, tell me about it in the comments!

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Stay Mindful by Using a Smartphone Purposefully

In this post, I discuss ways to lead a more mindful lifestyle by using technology as a tool rather than as entertainment.

Mr. Trekker and I are pretty good about not being glued to our phones. We have a standing rule at our house that there are no phones at the dinner table (with the exception of emergencies/family situations or, sometimes, when making travel plans on the run).

We’ve actually had strangers comment to us (in a good way) how unusual it is to see two people sitting together at a restaurant just talking to each other, with neither of us being on our phones. They always seem so impressed. I hope, by this small act, I can inspire other people to use their smartphones purposefully, as well.

My Week Without a Smartphone

A while back, I lost the use of my phone for almost a week. 😮 I was reminded of what life was like before we all had computers at our fingertips at all times. 🙄

It was due to this weird situation where Verizon pushed an update through and that basically “broke” my cellular ability. So I could use apps when I was connected to a WiFi network, but that was it. I couldn’t make any phone calls AT ALL (which is ironic since wasn’t that the whole point of having phones to begin with?!) After troubleshooting several things I decided that my phone was shot.

Fortunately, I have a warranty so I was able to get a free replacement from Apple. It was the same, old model I already had, and it had a crappy camera that took pictures with pink backgrounds 🙄 but at least it worked. I didn’t want to spend the money on a whole new phone at the time (we had literally just bought one for Mr. Trekker a few weeks before) so this was a good enough replacement.

On a personal note, my local Verizon store was FAR more helpful in dealing with this issue than Apple was over the phone. (The nearest Apple store is almost 400 miles away, in Denver). I’ve had good luck with Apple customer service in the past, but the Verizon store won this round! Apple seemed somewhat confused as to what exactly was wrong with the phone. Even though they told me not to bother with the local store because “the carriers don’t deal with this issue” Verizon was able to understand my problem and diagnose it almost immediately. This potentially saved me $100’s in replacement costs!

Remember the days before Smartphones?

It was weird to be thrown back to a life without a smartphone. I appreciated the break from the constant temptation to check social media or email while doing mundane things like standing in line at the store.

I did feel very isolated though, and cut off from the world. I could contact people via Facebook Messenger if I had a WiFi signal, but I couldn’t text. We haven’t had a landline phone in over a decade so, even at home, I realized I had no way to make a call to 911 if it was needed (fortunately it wasn’t). It was humbling and frustrating.

Part of me would love to throw all this tech garbage away and just go back to an old-fashioned “dumb” phone. I used to love my old flip phones, where I could send a quick text message or write a simple note to myself. I could even take the occasional picture (if it was REALLY important because they were EXPENSIVE!)

I could *gasp!* call someone (or have them call me) if we needed to get in touch. I really miss those simple days, they feel so 2006-ish! (Yeah, I didn’t get a cell phone of any kind until after I graduated college in 2005, told ya I was old-school! 😉)

How to Use a Smartphone Mindfully

Smartphones do have their benefits. They’re pretty handy when I’m away from my computer and need to make an update to my blog or handle other work-related business. A portion of my livelihood is made via the internet so having access to my blog, social media, and email (let alone old-school phone calls) from almost anywhere means I can be far more productive with my freelance work (and it gives me far more freedom to be away from home–the office).

I read the book Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport, recently as research for another project I’m working on. It was a very interesting read! I’d recommend this for anyone who feels technology has too much control over their life.

In the book, he stresses using technology, such as phones and social media, as minimally as possible to pursue more fulfilling things in life. I don’t feel like I struggle as much as many of the people he discusses in the book, so I didn’t feel the need to implement all of his strategies. However, the book did help me to structure my free time better and prioritize things I really care about.

I pride myself on not being a technophile, but this book really brought home to me the importance of using technology as a tool rather than as a device for entertainment. (It made me think we should view it almost like a pen or a drill, that is needed solely to complete a task.)

As an example, rather than scrolling through my Twitter or Facebook feed, I strive to only check a few, individual people who I follow. This helps me stay up-to-date with family and friends who live far away. I also check a few, specific, news sites so that I remain in-the-know on current events.

There are also a few, individual groups that I am a part of that help me to achieve my blogging and writing goals (I rank these under Professional Development). That’s it. If I’m not using my phone or social media for those purposes, I try not to use it at all.

There are always other free-time options to pursue. I’ve got a stack of books I’m working my way through, I’m also still enjoying the Star Wars, adult coloring book Mr. Trekker got me for Christmas several years ago, and I’ve got other projects to keep me busy.

Our lives are hectic enough! I challenge you to look for ways to reduce your smartphone use. Maybe instead you could interact with some flesh-and-blood humans 😉; take a walk, read a book, or go throw a baseball with your kiddo (or a tennis ball for your pup!) Let’s try to be more mindful and purposeful when using our smartphones!

What do you think? Have you seen any benefit from being more mindful with the use of your phone? Let me know in the comments!

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Using Mindfulness to Overcome Road Rage

In this post, I discuss how we can use mindfulness to better deal with annoying things in life, like slow drivers.

“The gas is on the right grandma!”

“If you can’t drive, get off the road!”

We’ve all been there right? We all get irritated by slow drivers…or the person who pulls out in front of you and forces you to slam on your breaks…or that special model of car that apparently wasn’t built with a blinker…🙄

Unfortunately, we can’t avoid the slow or less-than-perfect drivers that we encounter in our daily lives. However, instead of letting our frustration take control in those situations, we can use mindfulness practices to help overcome that road rage.

The Importance of Being Mindful While Driving

There have been several occasions when I was irritated at being stuck behind a slow driver. Though I felt my Road Rage Meter soaring, I couldn’t pass them safely, so I waited. Inevitably, we soon came around a curve and a deer was standing in the middle of the road. Our slower speed allowed both myself and the driver in front of me, plenty of time and space to stop. But if I had raced around that corner…

On other occasions, we came over a hill and a cop was waiting on the other side. Because I was stuck behind the slow driver I knew I had nothing to fear, but if I had been happily zooming along at the speed I wanted to drive…my wallet would have been the one feeling the rage.

My point is, maybe that slow person has been placed in front of us for a reason. Call it a Guardian Angel, Fate, or the Universe stepping in, but maybe that obstacle in our path is actually there to help us.

Mindfulness Helps us Embrace the Current Moment and Decrease Road Rage

I try to see slow drivers as God (or the Universe, or Fate) telling me to slow down a little. I believe these situations present themselves to us as opportunities, chances to be more Present in the current situation that we find ourselves in.

I mentioned in a previous post how much I enjoy long drives on winding roads. When we find ourselves stuck behind a slow driver we can be mindful and appreciate the sunny day, or the scenic countryside, that we’re currently driving through. Or maybe this is our chance to connect more meaningfully with the person sitting next to us. Maybe it’s not a beautiful day at all, but rather the rain is drumming peacefully on the windshield; something I find to be incredibly relaxing.

I see (and hear) some people, in their cars, who appear to be very angry. They lash out at anyone who pulls out in front of them, or who doesn’t drive quickly enough. You can see them gesticulating wildly, or hear them yelling at another driver. (I’ve even seen people standing outside a stranger’s car, at a red light, screaming at them through the window. 😮)

This type of behavior is frightening to witness, but I also think it’s indicative of a larger problem in our society today. Many of us are overstressed and are strained to our limits. Some of us are hurting in one or more areas of our lives.

If we can show a little patience towards each other, to be understanding if someone pulls out in front of us (or wave an apology to them if we are at fault), if we can show just a little extra kindness towards each other, maybe it will make another person’s day. Maybe it will pull them out of the dark place they are in, just a little bit. Maybe it will give them a little hope that there is still some kindness in a world that can be difficult to navigate at times.

To Conclude

I get just as irritated with slow traffic (or the large family milling about, blocking my path at Walmart 😉) as the next person. But we never know when these obstacles are put in our lives for our benefit.

So the next time you find yourself stuck behind a slow–or bad–driver, instead of getting angry and yelling at them (or using gestures that you wouldn’t want your mother to see 😔), look at it as an opportunity…to spend a little more time enjoying the beauty of the world around you.

Besides, if we can put a little positive energy and light out into the world, I believe it will come back to us. Also, it’s a simple way to help make this big, blue ball we all live on a little better place, for everyone!

Do you have any suggestions for how to be more mindful while driving? Let me know if the comments!

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A Tranquil New Year

In this post, I review the goals I accomplished last year and the hopes I have for the coming new year!

Happy New Year! A fresh, clean page is available to all of us again…so NOBODY SCREW IT UP! 😂 (the 2020’s have been rough ya’ll! 😓)

I mean it! In 2020 so many of us thought it was going to be “our year”…and we had a worldwide pandemic that shut the world down! 😷…

…then in 2021, we said, “It can’t get worse, right?”…and Omicron showed up and brought with it further economic collapse! 😩…

…then, in 2022 we said, “This year has to be better, right?”…and we ended up on the precipice of nuclear war 🤯 and COVID was still “a thing” (some of us caught it TWICE in 2022 and that was AFTER being double vaxi-boosted! 😡 🙄 😤 )…

…finally, 2023 rolled around and COVID is STILL somewhat of “a thing”, we’ve got wars going on in the Middle East AND Europe, and another–probably incredibly painful–election year is looming in the US 🙄…

…so, for the love of whatever you do or don’t pray to, nobody say ANYTHING this year, PLEASE! 🙏 DON’T jinx it! Just let the New Year come in, offer it some tea, and welcome it, quietly. 🙏 🤞 😂

I always feel a little melancholy on New Year’s Eve. I don’t like endings or goodbyes. They feel drug out like we’re forcing something that should be left to rest in peace. I feel this way about most endings, whether that be of the calendar year, a birth year, etc. I find myself impatient to move on to the adventure that lies ahead.

For me, this makes New Year’s Eve somewhat bittersweet. I always have the urge to throw off the shadow of the old year as quickly as possible and embrace the brightness of the new one.

New Year’s Day, on the other hand, I love! I LOVE new beginnings, new journeys, that “new car smell” the new year brings! 😉 New years, new birthdays, they’re all ripe with potential for us to turn over a new leaf, to move away from bad habits, to improve ourselves and our relationships! They’re so exciting!

I’m not gonna lie, at this point, I’m literally anxious about what 2024 might bring. I’m usually really optimistic about the new year and all the fun things that I see on the horizon. Unfortunately, after the last few years, I feel like we’re going into 2024 with our hands over our eyes, sneaking a peak through our fingers, just waiting to see what horrors we may behold. 😮 😝 (I’m also going to have a rough start to 2024, more on that later…)

Some good in 2023!

2023 did bring a few good things for the Trekkers…

—My blog continues to grow! It still isn’t where I’d like it to be, but I’ve survived some nasty Google updates and things are going ok!

–I’m continuing my study of other religions! In the last few years, I’ve read the entire Christian Bible, the Gnostic gospels, the Apocrypha, the Book of Mormon, and the Quran.

This last year I’ve also learned about the Jehovah’s Witness, the 7th Day Adventists, the Christian Scientists, and I read some lengthy portions of the Jewish Talmud.

I also want to read the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Wisdom of Solomon, and maybe the Ascension of Isaiah. I’ve got a book about the various Protestant denominations I’m interested in, and I want to possibly learn more about the Wiccans too…

Eventually, I may narrow my focus down to delving into the religious views of various American Indian tribes. So if anyone has any suggestions on reading material regarding these many groups, let me know in the comments!…

–The Trekkers both turned 40 this year and had some awesome travels in 2023! The Trekkers knocked a few places off our bucket list this year by enjoying Vegas, Death Valley, and some epic alien adventures for our 40th birthdays! We also got to make our usual visits to Colorado and some family on the East Coast. You can read about many of those adventures at the links below:

—7 Things to See in Death Valley National Park
—Drive the Extraterrestrial (ET) Highway
—Tips for your First Time in Vegas!
—Excited to Turn 40!
—Visiting Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak

We also enjoyed doing some hiking, camping, and getting to check out the Medicine Bows (the Snowys) in Wyoming!

I’m prayerfully hopeful 2024 is better for all of us!

Now for some personal news…

I’m going to have a bit of a rough time of it in January. We’ve known for several years that I have large fibroids on my uterus. The doctor has now decided it’s time to evict that troublesome organ (I wasn’t using it anyway. 😉) So, barring any (unforeseen) circumstances if all goes according to plan, I will be undergoing a total, open hysterectomy around the middle of January.

Recovery is going to SUCK, but the good news is, we’ve known this was coming for quite a while and I’m feeling pretty well-prepared for it. Thanks to my incredibly flexible, mostly-work-from-home job I’m hoping to only have to take a few weeks fully off work. I also have a strong support system with my family, some awesome coworkers, and the best hubby I could ask for!

The doctors are pretty confident there’s no cancer or anything too scary to be concerned about. My uterus is VERY large (comparable to a 5 – 6 month pregnancy) so it makes the surgery a bit more complicated, but I’m working with a super-specialist surgeon who has experience in this area. Mr. Trekker says I’m going to have one “gnarly” scar–and I already have some ideas for that in the future if it ends up being “gnarlier” then I hope…(I’ll give you a hint, it involves a tattoo and a SUPER cute little alien 😉 😂 😇 .)

So prayers, good wishes/luck, white light, and anything else you want to send my way are GREATLY appreciated! 🙏 🤞

I DO continue to pray for a happy, healthy 2024 for everyone. Hopefully, we can find some healing of our divisions throughout our country and the world. I also hope we each have something that improves in our lives in the next year. I truly want 2024 to mean better things for all of us!

So Happy New Year folks! (and maybe get a helmet…just in case! 😮 😉)

What are your hopes for 2024? Tell me in the comments!

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A Very Trekker Christmas

In this post, I discuss some of my happiest memories from Christmas, as well as some new traditions the Trekkers have started.

Happy Christmas everyone!

This has always been one of my favorite holidays, so on this Christmas Eve Day I thought I’d reflect on some holiday memories from my childhood, and some new traditions that Mr. Trekker and I have been implementing into our own, little family.

Trekker Family Traditions

Family Christmas traditions are funny, and growing up, my family was no exception. Time for a bit of a confession…I never really believed in Santa (shocking, I know 😮). Some people think that’s sad, but I was always richly blessed during this time of the year, so I never felt like I missed out on much. Below are some of the reasons why I went without this holiday tradition:

1) We didn’t have a fireplace growing up, so even as a child, my overly logical, skeptical mind was like, “ummm…how would that work?”

2) My mom always put presents under the tree when she was done wrapping them. I’m not sure how this got started, but to me, a tree looks naked if there are no presents under it (and yes, I still do this too.)

Also, I always helped her shop for, and wrap, presents for my cousins, so I kinda figured that if she was “Santa” for them…it’s pretty obvious who Santa was for me! 😉

Also, also, inevitably, I always ended up finding one of my presents before the big day and it was ALWAYS on accident (truly!) One year, my mom sent me to her closet to get something for her, completely forgetting one of my unwrapped presents was hidden in there! 😂

3) I grew up in a very religious family, especially on my dad’s side, so that aspect of the holiday was always stressed more than Santa or the gifts (Grandpa and Uncle were pastors after all 😉). I think this was good though, as it always helped me to keep the commercialism of the holiday in perspective.

One tradition we had for a few years, when the kids were young, is to have a birthday cake for Baby Jesus on Christmas Eve. We even got to sing “Happy Birthday” to Him (and there was cake so…😁!) I think that is such a cool tradition. It’s a fun way to help keep the true meaning of Christmas front-and-center for kids!

A box of Queen Anne cordial cherries sits on a table — Not everyone likes these sweet treats (I do!) but they represent a special memory for me. We would have them every year at my Grandma’s house at Christmas!

4) Most of my Christmas memories from my childhood are from the BIG gatherings we used to have at my grandparents’ house on Christmas Eve. The WHOLE family (we’re talking like 20 people) would gather there, with mounds of presents stacked everywhere. After dinner, we always dressed in our best (I usually got a pretty, new dress each year, several times my mom even made them!) and we went to the Christmas Eve church service, which has always been my favorite of the whole year!

The church would be decked out in beautiful lights and decorations, and it would always end with a moving version of “Silent Night”, lit only by candlelight. Then, the lights would be brought back up, and while we basked in the acrid, sulphuric smoke that wafted from the tips of the blown-out candles (I LOVE that smell), we’d be sent off to a rousing rendition of “Joy to the World!”

Then we’d return to Grandma’s house for…PRESENTS! (This is probably another reason why I never believed in Santa. 😂)

The story my grandfather told me for starting the tradition of opening gifts on Christmas Eve was that my mom and her three siblings used to wake my grandparents up REALLY early on Christmas morning to open presents (of course). The “old folks” didn’t like it, so…they started opening presents Christmas Eve instead, so they could sleep in Christmas morning! 🤣 (To be fair, my mom disputes this story. 😂) I always thought I was lucky, all the other kids had to wait a whole other sleep to get their presents, HA! 😉

Changing Holiday Traditions

As an adult, the holidays always seem a little weird, especially when you move far away and only return home occasionally. They say you “can’t go back again” and in many ways this is true. The experience is never quite the same as the rose-colored memories you have from childhood.

I have SO MANY amazing memories associated with this holiday. I find these days though, my feelings are somewhat bittersweet. I still LOVE all the shiny lights, carols, the beauty and peace of a candlelit church service, and time spent with family…but Christmas doesn’t quite feel the same as I remember as a kid. For the last 20 years, things have been changing, as all of us “kids” have been moving out (and away) and getting busy with our own lives.

You watch once-vibrant grandparents age, slow, and eventually, one year, become only a memory…so all the memories made with them start to dim, as well.

It just never quite feels the same as the days when Grandma would crawl around on the floor with us kids, with silly string in her hair. One year the tree fell over on her as she rooted around for that last Christmas present (true story, there is video evidence of this somewhere! 😁)

A grandma lays on the floor laughing and playing with two grandchildren amongst wrapping paper — This is my favorite pic of that crazy lady, it shows her in her element…with her grandchildren. This was Christmas, circa 1986, and yes, that brown mop of hair you see on the left would be me.

Relatives or childhood friends you were once almost inseparable from, you may now find you have little to talk about outside the updates you’re already aware of from social media. While some family members are lost, new ones are added (both through marriage and birth). While these are, certainly, blessings, the additional people–and their responsibilities to their own families–create complexities of their own.

Traditions change. What used to be a gathering at Grandma’s house, of what seemed like 100 people (when you were 5), is now a smaller group sitting around another table, or even gathering at a restaurant where you can pay a stranger to cook for you and clean up afterwards! 😉

It’s almost impossible to get everybody together at the same time anymore. Everyone lives all over the country (sometimes all over the world!) and we’re all busy with our own families (and families-in-law). Even on the rare occasions we DO all get together, there are so many other distractions (many of us have young kids of our own now).

It just isn’t the same as when we used to stay up till 3 am on Christmas Eve, my cousins and I, playing with our new toys together, while the adults played cards in the other room…

Your concept of family may change too. It’s no longer just about blood relations (especially as various in-laws or step-family members are added). Not everyone was blessed with a close-knit, loving family. Others may have no close family left or those that remain may live too far away to visit with every holiday. For many, friends make a wonderful, adoptive family.

There is always a sense of loss of family members, and “the old ways”. One of the only real guarantees we have in life is that things WILL change. This can be a good thing, though. We can store up wonderful memories of bygone days, and continue some old traditions from times past while seeking to embrace new practices that will carry with them wonderful memories of their own.

New Traditions

Mr. Trekker and I have started to develop our own traditions. Christmas Eve, I make homemade lasagna, then we open presents with my parents (gotta keep that tradition alive!) and still enjoy a candlelit, church service. We also like to watch a “big” Christmas movie that night, like “It’s a Wonderful Life”. 😁 Then, before bed, we read “The Night Before Christmas”. (When I was a kid we often read the Christmas story out of the Book of Luke, from the Bible, but now we kinda figure we’ve just heard it at church, so… 😉) Then…for the big finale…we have a little slumber party in the living room with the dog, under the glowing lights of the Christmas tree! Who needs kids to have fun?! 😂

When Christmas morning comes, we start it off with homemade cinnamon rolls! Then, it’s finally Present Time with Mr. Trekker’s side of the family (we “Zoomed” Christmas morning with relatives who live in far-off places for years, long before COVID made it cool! 😝) Then it’s time for the big, Christmas dinner! Finally, we end the evening on the couch watching “A Christmas Story” (the one with Ralfie…”you’ll shoot your eye out!”)

To Conclude

Change is inevitable, and I will CHERISH those Christmas memories from when I was a kid for the rest of my life. But I am also excited to make new memories, in the new situations we find ourselves, and with the new friends and family who may be joining us in the years to come.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! Enjoy your traditions with your own friends and families (be they blood-relation or otherwise and whether they are in-person or virtual) this holiday. Merry Christmas to you all (and as Tiny Tim would say, “God Bless us, everyone!” 😉)

Tell me about your family’s Christmas traditions in the comments!

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Christmas Tree Hunting in the Black Hills National Forest

In this post, I discuss a delightful holiday pastime, Christmas tree hunting in the Black Hills National Forest.

Well, kids, it’s that time of year again! Thanksgiving is over, the turkey has been eaten, you may have gotten up REALLY early (or stayed up REALLY late) to get some good deals on shopping…or better yet, you said, “FORGET THAT!” and chose to #optoutside to enjoy some fresh air and work off those Thanksgiving Dinner calories instead. Either way, it is now, FINALLY time to enjoy the Christmas season!

The tree is decorated, the lights are sparkling (both inside and outside the house), and Trans-Siberian Orchestra is booming from the speakers. Christmas has now been fully embraced by the Trekker household! (I told ya I wasn’t a Grinch!)

This time of year the Trekkers take part in what has become an annual tradition: Christmas Tree Hunting in the Black Hills National Forest for the Trekker Family Christmas Tree!

Some years, thigh-high snowdrifts can make the hunt exceptionally challenging (this is especially true when you find yourself attached to a rambunctious pup who happens to LOVE the snow! 😝 {Mr. Trekker plays lumberjack, carrying the tree and saw. 😮}).

We load up the “old family sleigh” (otherwise known as Mr. Trekker’s 4WD truck) and head out to our favorite, tree cutting spot (no, I’m not going to tell you exactly where it is. We’ve got our eyes set on other trees up there for future years! 😉)

Green pine tree on a snowy hill. Much larger trees surround it and tower in the background. — A Trekker Family Christmas Tree in its natural environment

Where do I get a permit for hunting Christmas trees in the Black Hills?

The Forest Service encourages the practice of hunting Christmas trees in the national forest to assist them in maintaining healthy forest spaces. Also, there is nothing better to compliment the Christmas Season than the smell of pine in your living room!

You do need a permit to cut a Christmas tree in these areas. They are $10 each (max 5 per person) and you have to go to a Forest Service office or certain private vendors to obtain one.

For information on how to go about acquiring these, and a full list of vendors where you can buy them, click here. You can also check the Forest Service website (where you can buy and download a pass online).

There are some restrictions on which parcels of land you can acquire the trees from and all usual restrictions pertaining to vehicle travel still apply. Also, be sure you are on public, Forest Service land and not Private Property when tree hunting.

Something to be aware of if you’re going tree hunting in the Hills…these are not “tree lot” or “tree farm” trees. These are WILD, “free-range” trees. 😮 They haven’t been trimmed and shaped on a farm with others their size, placed a perfect distance apart for ultimate fullness. They’ve been forced to fight for sunlight and nutrients among others of their kind, some that are MUCH bigger.

They may have had to grow around other trees or obstructions or had to survive vicious storms and wind, or the damage caused by animals. Basically, these trees look how they are SUPPOSED to, without human intervention. 😁 The chances of finding “the perfect tree” are pretty slim, but you’ll know when you find the “right” tree. It calls to you 😉.

Where are good places to hunt for Christmas trees in the Black Hills National Forest?

There are a variety of pine trees available in the Hills for this purpose, ranging from the stereotypical, Christmasy, spruce tree to ponderosa pines. I personally recommend the Black Hills Spruce which is usually found on north-facing slopes of hills and wetter, lower-lying areas. We tend to favor the central to northern Black Hills in our searches.

Be warned, many roads in the Hills are Forest Service roads (or old logging roads) which means they are dirt, rutted, and not maintained AT ALL for winter travel. Conditions in this area this time of year can range from dry, dusty forest roads, to mud, to–frequently–several inches or even feet of snow! I would not recommend driving on them without a four-wheel-drive/high-clearance vehicle. Some of the roads don’t require this but much of it depends upon current conditions and varies year-to-year (or even week-to-week and day-to-day. Heck, let’s face it, in the mountains, it can vary hour-to-hour!)

Usually, the roads are snow-covered, sometimes deeply. Some years, there is little snow and the roads aren’t muddy, so even my all-wheel-drive CRV could suffice, though these are not normal years. Also be aware, as with many places in the Hills, if you were to become stuck or mired…it will likely be quite a hassle (and quite expensive!) to get out–and that’s once you hike somewhere you can get a cell signal to call for a rescue!

A truck with a snow-covered tree sit on a snow-covered ledge. A lake backed by a forest is in the background. The clouds are grey and it appears to be snowing. — Lunch, by Deerfield Lake, after a successful hunt, on a snowy Saturday!

We have a favorite area we frequent (nope, still not going to tell you where it is! ) I will tell you this much, the mountains west of Deerfield Lake have an abundance of spruce trees (assuming that’s the type you’re searching for.) Flag Mountain Road is one of our favorite routes that takes you to some good hunting spots. (That’s ALL the helpful info you will get from me!)

The difficulty with this location is that it usually receives some of the heavier snowfall in the Hills. Even if there is little to no snow in the lower elevations, what falls as rain in these locales often falls as snow in the higher portions of the Hills. And, as I mentioned previously, as is true throughout the Black Hills, cell service in this area is often spotty (if it exists at all). So if you do get stuck and/or your vehicle becomes disabled, you may have a lengthy walk–possibly in deep snow–before you can call for help. Also, watch your step when you venture off the roads. The deep snow can easily hide stumps, downed trees, and other deadfall that can trip you up.

A dry, grass meadow with many pine trees in the background under a blue sky. — Our favorite Christmas tree hunting area in less snowy years

A dry, grass meadow with some tire marks heading off into the distance. Tall pine trees are on all sides under a blue sky. — Usually, there are inches to feet of snow in this area.

Mr. Trekker and his truck usually handle the conditions well, we’ve only gotten stuck…a few times. 😇 Mr. Trekker didn’t mind too much though, it gave him a chance to expand his trail, snow-driving skills (and the opportunity to play with his tire chains. 🙄)

To be clear, we know this area well, such as which parts to avoid as the road winds through gullies that tend to drift. We always carry numerous options of recovery gear with us–and yes mom –we always bring extra clothing in case we get stuck out for a lengthy period of time or need to hike out to call for help. We also have bug-out plans if the conditions prove worse than we had anticipated. Click here for a short video of one wintery trip in the forest!

A snowy meadow. Tall pine trees can barely be seen in the background through the gloom and snow. The shape of a truck is in the far background. — The truck stalks its prey (said in my best, nature documentary, narrator voice 😉 )

Our usual MO is to wander around one of our favorite hunting sites for a while…until both of us look across the meadow…and see IT, standing on the border between meadow and forest, with its much larger brothers towering in the background. You always have to wait for that “Griswold Family Christmas Tree” moment (and yes, Trekker family tradition dictates we watch that movie the night we go tree hunting to start off the Christmas season. )

If you’re really lucky, as you begin the search for the perfect tree it may start to snow gently…then it looks like a Norman Rockwell painting! A word of advice, we’ve learned the trees look smaller in their “natural habitat”, surrounded by their MUCH larger brothers. More than once we’ve had to cut a tree more drastically than we initially thought was needed once we got home and tried to fit it in our living room. We’ve learned if Mr. Trekker’s 6’4 frame can reach the top of the tree…it should fit in the house!

To Conclude

So, if you’re looking for a great place to cut down your own tree, while also helping the local forest stay healthy, don’t be afraid to get your hands a little dirty. Get out to your nearby national forest and get yourself a “free-range” Christmas tree. (It’s more organic than those tree-farm trees! 😉)

Christmas Tree Hunting in the Black Hills (or anywhere really) is an enjoyable, family-friendly experience. I encourage everyone to try it out and as always, be safe and smart when venturing out. The experience of trekking out to the wilds to acquire a tree from its natural habitat is incredibly exhilarating. It speaks to the instinctual lumberjack who’s hiding in the deepest, darkest depths of all of us. It’s also a fun, family activity. As I mentioned earlier, there’s little cell service out there, so gather the kids up in the “old family sleigh” and head out for some good, old fashioned–sans-technology–family time!

…just don’t forget the saw!

A lit Christmas tree in a dark room with other Christmas lights surrounding it — The final product!

Have you ever ventured out to cut down your own family Christmas tree? Tell me about your experience in the comments!

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Happy Thanksgiving!

In this post, I discuss what I’m thankful for on this Thanksgiving holiday, as well as why we eat that giant, delicious bird.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (or at least to our friends in the US. 😁)

Tomorrow is Turkey Day! I think this is such a great holiday because no gifts are expected. We can just focus on good food, a day of celebrating the blessings in our lives, and getting to spend time with people we care about.

Did I mention the food? 😉 If you love to eat, how can you not delight in this holiday? 🤤

I think it’s spectacular to have an entire day (or even an entire weekend) geared toward giving thanks for the blessings that surround us. We would do well to engage in this practice many times throughout the year, but at least we’re on the right track…

With all the “yuck” we’ve been dealing with the last few years: COVID, political and social unrest, wars, and the economic slump, I think it’s especially important to be aware of and thankful for the blessings that are present in our lives.

How Thanksgiving Became a Holiday…

Harvest celebrations have occurred throughout the world since the first people successfully gathered crops in the fall, from seeds they planted in the spring. The tradition is officially recognized as coming to the US with the Pilgrims.

Growing up, we were always taught that the Pilgrims had it rough that first year in the “New World”. They didn’t know much about what the local climate was like, how long the growing seasons were, or what plants grew well in these soils. Had it not been for people from the local tribes, who knew this land well as they had come to it LONG before, who saved the colonists’ sorry butts, they may not have survived at all. That definitely seems like something worth celebrating!

Of course, history tells us that for centuries thereafter, the newcomers went on to repay the kindness of their saviors by violently evicting, and in many cases trying to eradicate them, but I digress…😔

I also find it interesting that this is not just a special day in the US. Many other countries celebrate a similar holiday (though at different times of the year) including Canada and various places throughout Europe, the Caribbean, and Africa. Obviously, Americans aren’t the only ones who see a Day of Thanks as being worth commemorating.

Why Does the US Eat Turkey on Thanksgiving?

There doesn’t appear to be any evidence that a large, roasted bird was served that first Thanksgiving in the “New World”. It’s possible, as the fowl were present in the US at the time, but other critters, such as geese and deer, were more commonly hunted.

It seems the tradition of eating turkey arose more from the fact that, because of their size, turkeys can feed many mouths. They also didn’t offer much additional worth, aside from food (people didn’t harvest their eggs or feathers) so they weren’t considered a loss. Also, the bird is readily available in the wild and has since proven fairly easy (and relatively cheap) to mass produce for food. Therefore, it made economic and logistical sense to use it for celebrations where large amounts of people needed to be served.

The turkey has become so well connected with this holiday that in the US, we have one particularly odd tradition where the President gives an official pardon to a few turkeys! 😮

What I am thankful for…

On this coming day of thanks, I have much to be thankful for:

…a loving and supportive spouse..
…caring family and friends…
…we are blessed with healthy bodies…
…I have a steady job, with decent pay, that allows me to help provide for my family…
…there is food on my table…
…there is a roof over my head…
…I have clothes on my back…

…and, perhaps most importantly of all, we live in a country that relishes personal freedoms (there are SO MANY people the world over who can’t say that).

Also a shout-out to all the companies who choose to put profits aside and allow their employees to spend the entire holiday with their families. Good on you!

What else does one need, really?

I know it’s probably wishful thinking, but I also hope that on this day, maybe we can put some of our many differences aside, and just enjoy being with others…crazy idea, I know. 😝

Now, go enjoy some turkey and mashed potatoes! 🦃🍗…forget shopping on Black Friday, #OptOutside instead, enjoy some nature, exercise and wear off all those holiday calories…and get excited because after tomorrow…we can FINALLY enjoy Christmas!

What are your Thanksgiving traditions? Tell me about them in the comments!

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Why the Time Change?

In this post, I discuss the Time Change; why it’s “a thing” and the effect it has on me!

Want to travel back in time? Thanks to “Fall Back”, you get to, and in a couple of months, you get to travel into the future when we “Spring Forward” again. 😝

The time change is so weird! Why do we do it? 😋

For the first 18 years of my life, I lived in a state that didn’t observe Daylight Saving Time. So, during my formative years, we never changed our clocks. In the winter, prime-time TV would start at 8 pm and the late news would come on at 11. During the summer, Prime Time would start at 7 pm with the late news coming on at 10. Other than that, we never noticed any differences at all (though we lived near the Michigan border and I knew that state did this weird, time change thing 😜).

I always reach a point in the year that while I’m not excited for the sun to go down before 5…I can’t WAIT for it to come up before 7 again! It isn’t fun getting up in the dark…walking Puppers in the dark (while still half asleep)…even eating breakfast before the sun peeks over the hills on the eastern side of town…😝 …I can’t imagine how hard it would be to wake up if we didn’t follow the time change and we lost another hour of daylight (at least) in the mornings before hitting the shortest day of the year in December!

By the time Christmas rolls around the sun will be coming up almost as late again (but not quite! Oddly enough, once the time changes the sun never rises quite as late as it does the last week before the Change. The difference is only about 5 minutes, but it’s still BETTER! 😉) Also, by Christmas, I’m excited about the holidays and there are lights and pretty decorations all over!

My first Time Change experience

My freshman year in college, I got to experience my first “Fall Back”, I was so excited! 😉 Do you know what’s really crazy? I went to college in the same state I grew up in! 😂

“Huh?!” you may say. So, it’s complicated. Back then, the very few counties in Indiana, that were near Chicago, did observe the Time Change. This was because many of the people who lived there actually worked in Chicago (or at least northeast Illinois).

My new college friends thought my reaction was a little strange. I found the idea that we got a whole extra hour added to our lives to be fascinating.

There was one particular guy there, that night, who found my weird reaction amusing…I guess it didn’t bother him too much though since he asked me to marry him a “short” eight years later! 😂

The History of Daylight Saving Time

Time Change has been “a thing” in the US since the early 1900s, at least in some areas. It became popular in the ’70s (before my time, for the record 😉) during the gas shortage/energy crisis because, in theory, it would help to reduce energy use.

This may be true in certain locations, but in western South Dakota, we have less than nine hours of daylight during the darkest points of the winter. Whether those hours fall 7 – 4 or 8 – 5 doesn’t really matter…you still have more than 14 hours of darkness to contend with. 😝

Various state governors have also implemented the Time Change to help keep school children safer, as falling back an hour allows more daylight around the time the kids are traveling to school.

Standard Time is actually helpful

I do think the Time Change is ultimately a good thing, at least for those of us living in the more extreme latitudes. If we stayed on Daylight Saving Time all year, the sun wouldn’t come up until AFTER 8 am during the darkest months…no thanks!

In contrast, if we stayed on Standard Time all year, the sun would (literally) be coming up around 3:30 in the morning in the summer–especially seeing as we have an east-facing bedroom, I’m gonna pass on this one, as well. 😋

So, while it may be a complete pain in the a$$, I think the time change does make the best use of the extensive variations in the amount of daylight we experience over the course of a year.

The effects of the time change

I’ve talked at length about my struggle with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), and the time change usually triggers it fully. Funnily enough, I don’t remember EVER experiencing it growing up in Indiana. Not even when it seemed like we didn’t see the sun from October through March (unless temps were below zero 🥶)–for anyone who isn’t aware, the Great Lakes region is known for being rather cloudy, especially in the colder months.

Other Vitamin D3 options: Nature’s Bounty, Nature Made 2000 IU tablets, NOW softgels,

I don’t even remember noticing the dark so much in college, which was the first time I experienced true darkness before 5 pm. I’m not sure if it was because I was so busy with classes, homework, and college life, that I just didn’t have time to pay attention? Or if life was relatively easy, being that I was a college student without any major responsibilities 😇?

Another funny note: Indiana’s full state does now participate in Time Change (they started after I moved away), but they’re STILL weird. The vast majority of the state is in the Eastern time zone and changes with New York City, but those few counties near the Illinois border are still in the Central time zone and change with Chicago (for the same reasons I mentioned above).

November is a bad month for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)

I struggle with SAD the most during the three weeks before Thanksgiving. The weather in the Black Hills is usually fairly decent, but Fall does tend to be one of our cloudier times of the year. That, and the lack of daylight, tends to exacerbate any SAD symptoms I’m currently feeling.

It’s INCREDIBLY frustrating when you’re already feeling lousy and Mother Nature just smiles at you and keeps kicking your emotional butt with Her cruddy weather…but there’s something oddly calming about it too. Like She does not give a SH*T about how we feel. She just does her thing, completely oblivious and ambivalent about our needs or comforts. It’s humbling, and I find the consistency of it somewhat comforting, strangely enough.

Fortunately we tend to have GORGEOUS sunsets this time of the year!

This time of year, the excitement and decorations of Halloween are over, but it’s too early for Christmas (despite what some might tell you. 🙄) I’m not sure which is the chicken, and which is the egg, but I also find my SAD symptoms compound (or are worsened) by any other stressors/worries I have going on. I think SAD heightens your sensitivity and lessens your tolerance overall, making you more susceptible to the negative effects of these other triggers.

Other therapy lamp choices: Happy Light Luxe; Happy Light full-size; Happy Light UV-free; Happy Light Alba; Happy Ligh Lumi; Happy Light Compact; Happy Light Touch

I LOVE Thanksgiving though, so once we get to that week it gets easier. Then the Christmas Season is in full swing, complete with all the lights, music, and holiday spirit, so I’m happier. Things are also a bit easier with my rambunctious, four-legged “office mate” to keep me company (she doesn’t seem depressed. 😉🐶)

So, for the next few weeks, I’ll be hanging out in front of my therapy lamp while popping the Vitamin D3. 😋 We just gotta buckle down and “embrace the darkness” for the next few months. Fear not though…it’s only about seven weeks till the Winter Solstice, and then the days will start getting longer again! 🌞

Are you #teamtimechange? Tell me your opinion in the comments!

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Halloween, a Creepy Holiday?

In this post, I’ll discuss my thoughts on this fun holiday, and explain how some of its quirky traditions came to be.

Halloween, or All Hallows Eve, has mysterious roots, but is it really creepy?

Some people think this holiday is based on harvest festivals from the Celtics or Pagans, such as Samhain. The Christian faith celebrates All Saints Day on November 1, so “All Saints Eve” falls the night before (October 31). In Mexico, the celebration for Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) begins on October 31st. Wiccans believe that on this night, the barrier between our world and that inhabited by the dead is at its most minute point throughout the entire year…

Whatever its true origins may be, it seems obvious that throughout history, this day seems to have been a common time to commemorate and honor those who have gone before us.

As a Lutheran from childhood, All Hallows Eve holds a special place in my heart for another reason. Reformation Day, which falls on October 31st, is said to be the day Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of his local Catholic church, thereby forever splitting the Christian religion and initiating the rise of Protestantism. (I like to think Martin Luther was the original Libertarian 😆.)

Sometimes this holiday is affiliated with evil. To be honest, I’m not really sure why. In my research, I saw many references to Pagan practices connected with it. However, they all seemed to be intended to respect ancestors or honor the memory of those we have lost. Many of these predate the rise of Christianity. (That religion is often wary of Pagan practices, which I think is incredibly ironic when arguably, one of the most important Christian holidays has all sorts of Pagan connections, ahem…but I digress. 😋)

By its very name, the word Halloween has Christianity at its source, as it means “Saints Evening”. This is because important Christian feasts were historically held on that night, as it proceeded All Saints Day.

Unique customs are practiced on Halloween

There are some interesting traditions affiliated with Halloween. Carving pumpkins, dressing in costumes, and begging for candy on our neighbors’ doorsteps are some of the most well-known. But why do we engage in these activities on this holiday?

Jack-o’-Lanterns

Ever wonder why we disembowel pumpkins, carve their flesh into designs, and then stick candles in them? Well, that dates back to an old, Irish legend. According to the tale, an unscrupulous fellow named Jack tricked the Devil into not being able to claim his soul. He then lived a life of debauchery thinking he had rigged the system.

Jack didn’t bother to get God’s seal of approval on his plans though, and the Big Man Upstairs refused to allow Jack’s soul entrance to Heaven when he died. True to his word, the Devil wouldn’t claim his soul either, he would only give Jack one, glowing coal from the pits of Hell. Jack put that coal in a carved-out turnip and uses it to light his way, as his soul is destined to wander the world aimlessly for all eternity. (I’ll let you unpack all the moral lessons of that fable on your own time. 😜)

Trick-or-Treat!

This custom has been seen across time, cultures, countries, and religious practices. An old Christian tradition was for parishioners to go door-to-door, wishing blessings on people or praying for the souls of their loved ones.

In other cultures, children sang songs on people’s doorsteps in exchange for food or money. If neither was forthcoming, “mischief” might result. 😮

I mentioned earlier that some cultures believe this day is when the spirits of the dead souls return to visit their former homes. The tradition of “trick-or-treat” may have come from people impersonating those souls.

Halloween gets more enjoyable with age…

I find I almost enjoy this holiday more as an adult than I did as a kid. I get to choose what candy to buy, and I can eat as much of it as I want, whenever I want (ha, Mom, you can’t keep me from eating Snickers for breakfast anymore! 😉)

I always enjoy handing treats out to the neighborhood kids (even though I am quickly humbled by just how OLD I really am!) I’ve learned not to “guess” the kids’ costumes anymore, I just ask them what they’re dressed as. In the past, I’ve frequently guessed something like Harry Potter, and am quickly corrected by a very annoyed-looking 10-year-old who informs me it’s a character I’ve never heard of before. 😋

It also helps that our neighborhood is so charming. We basically live in Mayberry (and if you don’t understand that reference, PLEASE, Google it! 😮😉) I mean that in the best way possible. I LOVE our neighborhood. It’s so nice to see kids still dress up and go to their neighbor’s door bleating the singsong “trick-or-treat!” (and most of them are SO polite, I get MANY “thank-you’s!” throughout the night!) Some bring their younger siblings, while some are older teenagers who are still kids at heart…

And yes, I DO NOT care how old you are. If you are willing to throw off societal convention for a few hours, dress up like a goofball, and unleash your inner six-year-old, you can get candy at my house! 😀 Anything that gets kids off their devices and encourages them to just act like kids is ok in my book! 👍

Trekker Halloween Traditions

The Trekker Halloween starts with a trip to the pumpkin patch a week or so before the festivities begin. Then, the night before, we carve our pumpkins (we can’t do it any earlier, the neighborhood deer eat them! 😮 ) We snarf down on pre-Halloween candy 😉 and listen to Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds. We also try to sneak in a reading of Edgar Allen Poe’s Nevermore as well, for good measure. 🎃

Then, the night of, it’s a frozen Tombstone pizza for dinner (they aren’t even that good, but Tombstone is pretty fitting on Halloween, right? 😉) If we’re lucky, and it’s a warm night, the Trekkers and Puppers chill out on the front porch and wait for the kiddos to arrive. If it’s cold, we just hang out inside, instead.

Once the miniature goblins and superheroes have ceased casting shadows on our doorstep, we’ll retire to the basement, with our own bucket of reserved candy (hey, we paid for it! 😉), to watch two of our annual favorites, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and The Crow. (Those two aren’t complete contradictions of each other…right?) 🤷😉 We’ve also started adding Sleepy Hollow to the mix!

So feel free to let your freak flag fly a little on this holiday. We all deserve to tap into our inner child from time to time. Happy Halloween everyone! 🎃

What are your Halloween traditions? Tell me about them in the comments!

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I Do: 10 Tips on Making a Marriage Last

After more than a decade of marriage, I give my 10 tips on how to make it last!

Author’s Note: I originally wrote this post five years ago for our 10-year anniversary. We’ve been through a lot together in the succeeding five years:

–we survived a worldwide pandemic and relative lockdown (complete with two rounds of COVID each–we like to share 😝–and now we’re both learning how to live with long-term COVID-brain 🥴 )
–Mr. Trekker was an AWESOME caregiver when I had major surgery

I wanted to add more items five years on but honestly, I couldn’t really think of anything else helpful to add. So, from someone who is five years further into a lengthy, successful, and very happy marriage, enjoy!

Mr. Trekker and I celebrated 15 years of marriage recently! Since we started dating early in our freshman year of college, we’ve been together more than half our lives! I’m not sure we can remember what it’s like to NOT be a twosome! 😍

For a long time, we just hung out as friends, within our shared group of friends, and got to know each other casually. Mr. Trekker and I were best friends first (in my opinion, that’s the way to go!) At first, I didn’t even consider him as a potential romantic suitor (although if you ask him, I was always in his sights. 😊) We just clicked in a way I never had with a guy before. We became inseparable, best friends, almost instantaneously.

One of the first times we hung out was a group trip to the local gas station. (Ok…we are OLD and we went to a SMALL school in the middle of podunk-nowhere Indiana, there wasn’t a lot to do there. Most of us didn’t have cars. We were also poor, college students, and this was before streaming tv–I didn’t even have a cell phone till AFTER I graduated college. 😮)

Due to these factors, a quasi-tradition at our school was a midnight, slurpy run to the nearby 7-11. One of the nights, Mr. Trekker and I tagged along, individually, with a group of friends. When two friends, who were dating, started a round of piggyback rides, I casually mentioned, “I want a piggyback ride!” Then I heard this deep voice emanating from this tall, lanky kid behind me, who I barely knew, “I’ll give you a piggyback ride…” That’s how it all began folks! See guys, you can still sweep a lady off her feet, even in the 21st century! 😉

Now that we’ve been married for 15 years, I think it’s fair to give out a few tips on how to make a marriage last…

1. MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!

I cannot stress enough how important I think this is. If I could give only one piece of advice on how to have a successful marriage, this would be it!

This will ultimately affect the way you relate to your spouse throughout the entire course of your relationship. You will likely live through both the best and the worst moments of life with that person. Why would you want it to be anyone other than your best friend? I can’t imagine trying to navigate childrearing, sickness, family/household emergencies or any of the other stresses and difficulties that life will inevitably throw your way, with anyone other than your best friend!

Your best friend is the person who knows what you’re like at your worst, yet is still willing to put up with you. 😉 They will ultimately end up being one of your highest priorities anyway, so why wouldn’t you choose that person to marry? Your spouse knows you more intimately than anyone else. They know every one of your embarrassing, disgusting details (whether you want them to or not. 😛) Why would you want anyone other than your best friend to have that kind of incriminating material on you? 😉

Your best friend is the person you have the most patience for, and the one you’ll do anything to fix a divide between. Your marriage relationship should be this strong. Your best friend should be the one you have chosen to be yoked to for life. People have actually told us, “You guys just seem to actually LIKE each other”. Um…yeah…we’re married! Is this a common thing these days? Do people choose marriage partners they DON’T like?! 🤔

If your current spouse isn’t your best friend, figure out a way to change that. Yes, it IS that important. Find something the two of you enjoy doing together. Find a way to bond. I GUARANTEE you, without a shadow of a doubt, this will make your relationship better.

If you’re engaged to someone who isn’t your best friend, don’t give up hope yet, but for the best chance of making your marriage succeed long-term, find a way to change this BEFORE the wedding.

The person you are “just dating” may not be your best friend…yet…but do they have that potential? If not, rethink the relationship now before it gets more serious.

On the other hand, could the person who’s currently your best, platonic friend be a potential mate? If that isn’t a practical option, figure out what qualities they have that draw you to them, and look for those qualities in potential mates (honesty, integrity, empathy, humor, drive, quirkiness…)

Two, old wedding rings with lace running through them — Two of my grandparents had died by the time we got married. Both were with their respective partners for almost 50 years! On our wedding day, I carried both of their wedding rings in my bouquet. I couldn’t think of a better way to bestow favor on our marriage.

2. Play together!

Really! Life is serious enough, have fun with the mate you’ve pledged your life to. Goof around, pick on each other (good-naturedly of course). Enjoy fun activities together! Make each other laugh (they say it’s good for the soul!) Tease, flirt, do fun, silly stuff with each other. “Adulting” can get pretty dull, spice it up! Got a day full of errands? Find time for a quick ice cream or lunch date in the mix. Go on walks together. Get in food fights!

One of Mr. Trekker and my favorite memories from college is when we got in a food fight with buffalo wings from Dominoes…sauce got everywhere, it was epic! His former roommate still doesn’t know that one of the wings ended up in his shoe (we cleaned it up! 😮🤫😇)

So play around and have fun with your mate…you know, like you would with your best friend… 😮

3. Sex

Hehe…yeah, five years on and…NOPE, still not gonna talk about that subject!… 😲😋😘😉😇

4. Pay attention to the little things

People tend to show you their true selves, in subtle ways. Watch for clues for how your Intended will treat you years down the road. You know, once the lovey-dovey, rose-colored glasses of dating life are removed and the ugly reality of spending the next 50-odd years with someone sets in. 🙃

These are things like, do they put the toilet seat down? This is, admittedly, a bit trivial, but it can have serious implications for things to come. Something like this is a small, simple sign that a person is considerate of and empathetic towards others. That’s not a bad indication when considering someone as a potential, lifelong mate! What’s the old saying, if you can trust them with the little things…

5. Say “I’m sorry”…OFTEN, and then…FORGIVE!

Whoever came up with the old adage “love means never having to say you’re sorry” is an idiot. 😋 Seriously, that’s stupid! We’re all human so we all make mistakes. We’re also all intelligent enough to know when we were wrong. So humble yourself, apologize when you’ve screwed up, and try to improve on your actions in the future.

For the spouse being apologized to…FORGIVE!!! This is key when talking about a long-term relationship. We all have times when we can be complete jerks. We all lash out, from time to time. Unfortunately, our spouses, by the very nature of how intimately we are connected, are most often the outlets for our frustrations.

I don’t know why we seem to have this fault in our human nature that the person who is supposed to mean the most to us is also the one we default to treating the worst. It’s probably because they are the one person we can truly let our guard down around…

If your best friend is a jerk to you, don’t you want to forgive them as quickly as possible to get back to your fulfilling relationship? Be forgiving of your partner, we all have our bad days. Remember, you chose them for a reason. And the next time you are feeling cranky, remember how it felt to bear the brunt of that emotion from someone else, and maybe try to be as gentle as you can with them.

6. PATIENCE!

This goes hand-in-hand with #5. Because we are all human and therefore, all flawed, we’re going to screw up…A LOT. Show patience towards your mate. They are the one you dedicated your life to, they should be the one you grant the most patience to and are most tolerant of when they become frustrating…kind of like you would your best friend…🙃 (Yes, I’m going to keep harping on this point. I TRULY believe it is THAT important).

A cake topper with a male and female in hiking clothes/equipment and a flag with a picture of a dog — I’m sure it won’t surprise you that the Trekkers picked a hiking couple as their cake topper. 😁 And yes, since Doggo couldn’t be at the wedding, we included her on the cake!

7. The “dreaded” in-laws 😱

I was fortunate to be blessed with pretty great in-laws (and I’m not just saying that because my mother-in-law reads this blog…REALLY! 😉) Seriously though, I know family dynamics are complicated. Not everyone is blessed with an extended family that’s easy to deal with. HOWEVER, those family members played a large part in making the person you have chosen as a life-long mate into who they are today.

When you marry that person, you marry their family too. Why not do everything within your power to make your relationships with those people as peaceful as possible? If you don’t get along with them, don’t do it for them. Do it for the person you have chosen to love, above anyone else.

8. Show restraint with complaints…

Ok, before anyone yells at me, I’m not saying you shouldn’t speak up if you’re feeling unhappy, or that your needs aren’t being met. HOWEVER, I think there is a time, place, and manner in which to bring up grievances.

The old cliché that “it isn’t what you said, it’s the tone you used”? Yeah, that one is actually true! The best time to air your frustrations is probably not in the midst of your anger. If you can hold your tongue just to the count of 10, or a few minutes, or maybe even a few days, the problem may be able to be resolved more quickly and/or with fewer feelings hurt.

How do these things usually play out? Someone says something in the heat of anger that may be true, but that isn’t very kind. Then later, apologies are garnered and the situation is talked over and resolved calmly, right? So, why not just skip the anger and drama, and jump right to the calm discussion? I find I can usually express myself more effectively when I’ve had time to think about exactly what is upsetting me anyway. Wouldn’t you strive to be gentle with your best friend when confronting them about something they do that upsets you?

9. Don’t let life’s little hiccups ruin things

“Life is messy, sh*t happens, don’t sweat the small stuff.” Living by these ideals will make life easier. Eventually, things aren’t gonna work out as we planned. We gotta buck up and deal with it, kids. We gotta learn to “just groove“. Besides, sometimes a minor disappointment, such as a rained-out picnic in the park, can lead to an even better result…like a Subway picnic on the floor of your dorm room. 😇

Speaking of rain, don’t be afraid of a little rain on your wedding day (…even if it is an outdoor wedding! 😮) They claim it’s good luck!

I recently learned the supposed reasoning behind this and it’s kind of cool…When you get married it’s called “tying the knot” right? Well, what material is often used for knots? Rope. And what happens to rope when it gets wet? It swells. So…the idea is, that a “knot” tied on a rainy, wet day, will swell and be impossible to untie…ha! 😉 (In case you are wondering, yes, it was rainy and in the upper 40s the day of our OUTDOOR wedding, and it was wonderful! It was nothing that a covered gazebo with a roaring fire in the stone fireplace couldn’t cure!)

10. …and last but not least…

Did I mention you should marry your best friend? 😉 😇

These tips are just my personal opinion, of course. You can decide if you take them to heart or not. But I think it’s fair to say that long-term marriages aren’t a super common thing these days. I believe in learning from the lessons of others. So, I try to follow the models of other long-term couples (both for what TO and what NOT to do. 🙃) These tips are things that work for us.

The Trekkers have big shoes to fill. Both of our parents have been married more than 40 years, and most of our grandparents came close to (if not hit) the 50-year mark! 😮 I pray we are lucky enough to have–at least–that many years together!

Do you have any pieces of advice for a long and happy marriage? Let me know in the comments!

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